Previous
Chapter 10
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in It Ends with Us, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Cycles of Abuse
Naked Truths
Good and Evil
Chosen Family
Summary
Analysis
Later in bed, Lily realizes that she’s nearing the end of her diary entries to Ellen. She hesitates to finish them, but she wonders if doing so after seeing Atlas will give her the closure she needs. In the first entry Lily reads, she had written about a quote Ellen’s character had in the movie Finding Nemo: “just keep swimming.” Those lines had increased in importance to Lily after recent events; Atlas had gotten really sick, making it difficult for her to carry on.
As Lily considers reading the last of her journals, it becomes clear that her intense feelings after reuniting with Atlas are rooted in the difficult, painful aspects of their history that Lily can’t yet bring herself to confront. The entry she reads now explains how Atlas and Lily’s situation grew more dire that winter. Lily’s fear for Atlas’s well-being prompted her to call on her other main source of comfort—Ellen, who plays Dory in Finding Nemo, a movie about two fish who persevere through trying, dangerous circumstances. That Lily references Dory’s line about continuing on despite obstacles and doubts speaks to Lily and Atlas’s determination to survive their own trying circumstances.
Themes
Atlas continued to sleep on Lily’s floor during the snowy weather, so she noticed as soon as he climbed in the window the night before that he was in bad shape. Though Atlas tried to encourage her, Lily’s concern only escalated when he started throwing up in her trash can. Though his repeated vomiting grossed her out, Lily laid next to him and cared for him all night. In the morning, he went home while Lily pretended to be sick so she could take care of him. Lily’s mother called her out of school and went to work, allowing Lily to bring Atlas back over. She cared for him, and they cuddled on the couch. He kissed her on the shoulder in thanks. Together they watched Finding Nemo, and they held hands when Ellen’s character said they had to continue swimming forward. Lily felt like he was telling her that was what they needed to do, too.
Lily feels powerless to help Atlas in any concrete way as he suffers his sickness, but she gives him what she was able to: her company and care. The movie they watch together will become a larger touchstone in their relationship—something they reference to acknowledge the weight of their circumstances and offer encouragement to push forward anyway. Atlas’s kiss on Lily’s shoulder is also significant: recall how Ryle kisses Lily on a heart tattoo she has on her shoulder. It seems that there’s a connection between the tattoo and Atlas, though Ryle doesn’t know what this significance is.
Themes
In Lily’s next diary entry, she expresses concern about how often she thinks about and worries for Atlas. The night before she wrote this letter, he slept in her bed because she put his blankets in the laundry. Atlas then told her that he’d gotten in touch with his uncle, who agreed to house him in Boston once he’s back in town from a work trip. Lily was leveled by the idea of Atlas leaving, though she was also happy he’d have a home. Atlas admitted that he didn’t want to leave he either, touching her lips as he spoke. He thanked her and kissed her on the forehead. He kissed her on the lips too, and Lily had been overcome by the feelings in her body. They kept kissing instead of talking more about Boston.
As Lily’s care for Atlas deepened into something more consequential, the power of that change scared her. The sadness Lily experienced when hearing Atlas might leave town reveals how strong her attachment to him grew. Atlas’s kisses told her that he also felt more than he had yet expressed. Their connection may have shifted into romance, but the foundation of their bond went far beyond any cliches of childhood love; they helped each other survive.
Themes
The letter following Atlas and Lily’s kiss is dated a week later. In it, she explains to Ellen that lately after school, Atlas would shower, then they would make out until her parents got home. They stopped watching her show. Lily wrote how comfortable she had become around Atlas as they’d explored each other. She wondered how people can focus on anything when they have this much excitement in their lives. At the end of the journal entry, Lily mentioned that they still hadn’t discussed his possible move to Boston.
The contents of this journal entry once again align with aspects of Lily’s adult life. Lily’s inability to focus on anything after beginning a romantic relationship with Atlas, for example, mirrors the way Ryle functions as a distraction from everything for Lily as an adult. From her first relationship, Lily seems to have used love as an escape from the difficulties in her life.
Themes
Get the entire It Ends with Us LitChart as a printable PDF.
The next entry describes how Atlas kissed Lily on the bus—the first time they did so in public. Lily’s friend noticed and made a disparaging comment on how gross Atlas was. Lily was infuriated by her judgment. Sitting on the bus, she told Atlas that he was her favorite person, and he told her she was his too. When they got off the bus, Lily flipped the other girl off. The power was off when they returned home, so Atlas used the gas stove to make cookies. Lily’s father came home early before they were finished. Lily pretended she had made them when her father asked about them.
Lily’s confrontation of her prejudiced former friend shows how her allegiance to Atlas has become her top priority. When Lily’s father nearly walks in on Lily and Atlas while they’re making cookies illustrates how the more time Lily and Atlas spend together, the more they risk Lily’s parents discovering their relationship. Still, that this doesn’t dissuade them from spending time together shows that their relationship has become a stronger motivator than even Lily’s fear of her father.
Themes
Lily writes that she waited to try the cookies until Atlas climbed into her window later that night. As they ate them, he presented her with a gift: a small hollowed out heart carved from wood. Atlas explained that he had carved it from the oak tree she’d pointed out earlier in the year. Looking at the heart, Lily was unsure if the love she felt was for it or for Atlas. She threw herself on top of him in thanks. At the back of her mind, Lily wondered if this was a goodbye gift. She admitted to Ellen that she needed to talk to him about it, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment. In Lily’s next entry, she explained that Atlas was really going to Boston, but she couldn’t talk about it yet.
The heart Atlas carves for Lily reflects all the complexities and depth of their relationship. The source of the wood references their earlier conversation about surviving despite their parents’ neglect. The heart shape reflects Atlas’s love for Lily. Its top demonstrates how their love comes from their ability to confide openly with each other and how it might give them hope for a new, more open future. That same heart, which adult Lily keeps in her keepsake box as a relic of their time together and tattoos on her shoulder, comes to symbolize the transformative role that Atlas played in her life.
Themes
Lily’s next letter to Ellen isn’t about Boston; instead, she recounts her father’s most recent abuse of her mother. Lily explained that her father usually hit her mother where no one could see, but the night before, he had left damage that her mother couldn’t hide. When they came home from a social event, Lily heard him hitting her. Atlas was in bed next to her, and he tried to keep her from going downstairs in fear she might get hurt too. When Lily finally convinced Atlas to let her go, she found her father choking and trying to rape her mother. Her mother saw her and begged her father to be quiet.
Lily’s father’s abuse in this scene is different than it’s been before. His violence escalates to such a degree that Lily can no longer ignore it—not even her relationship with Atlas can distract her from it. For Atlas’s part, his restraint and later release of Lily reveals that he’s torn between wanting to protect the most important person in the world to him and letting her try to protect her mother. Though Lily goes down to protect her mom, her mother tries to end the assault not for herself, but to protect Lily from getting involved.
Themes
Lily already saw what was going on, however, and she went into the kitchen to get a knife. Before Lily could get to her father, Atlas grabbed her and took her back upstairs. She lashed out at him in anger, but he wouldn’t let her go downstairs again. Atlas told her they should call the police, but Lily’s mother came into the room before they could. Lily told her mother they’d call for help. She begged them not to. She told Lily that Lily couldn’t understand how complicated adult relationships are. Atlas had left while Lily cried with her mother. Her mom never mentioned seeing Atlas, choosing to ignore it—like everything else.
Lily’s decision to grab a knife reveals that her anger at her father and the need to step in for her mother now take precedence over rationality or safety; it’s only at this point that Atlas takes the situation out of Lily’s hands. In this scene, Lily sees her father in absolute, black-and-white terms. He tried to rape her mother, and she wants to hold him accountable—she knows her mother won’t let that happen, so in many ways, Lily unfairly blames her mother for her father’s violence. Because Lily was livid at her mother for letting any of this happen, she interpreted her mother’s failure to acknowledge Atlas when she came upstairs as yet another instance of denial. Regardless of whether or not this is true, Lily’s conclusion at the time shows exactly how weak she believed her mother to be.
Themes
The next entry Lily reads is from the day that Atlas left for Boston. She explains in the letter to Ellen that their last night had been fraught. Atlas had been hesitant to leave Lily alone in her house, but she knew he needed to go so he could have a home. He told her about Boston, saying “everything is better” in Boston except for the fact that she won’t be there. Lily told him she may move there someday. Atlas made her agree to find him if she ever came to Boston. Then they kissed goodbye.
Lily’s sadness at Atlas leaving seems rooted in how much she’ll miss him, but Atlas’s hesitancy is driven by his fear of leaving Lily alone after the events of the night before. Since Lily’s father’s abuse is not something Atlas feels he could save Lily from, he instead gives her what he can: hope in the future they might find together. The idea that they may discover better things in Boston after surviving this period—and that they promise to find each other—has clearly influenced the trajectory of Lily’s life. Though she eventually chooses to build her adult life in Boston, Atlas never finds her—she inadvertently found him.
Themes
Back in the present, Lily can’t read anymore. There’s one last journal entry, but it is too hard for her to read. She reminds herself that Atlas is happy now, and that part of her life is over. She sees a text from Ryle containing a naked truth; he tells her that he was worried a relationship would be burdensome, but instead it makes all the other parts of his life feel even more worth it. Lily also sees a text from her mother. It reads that she wishes she could be more like Lily. Lily screenshots both messages so she can remember them forever.
Atlas’s failure to keep his promise, it seems, is the source of the sickness Lily felt when they saw each other at the restaurant. Reading the account of those unkept promises stops her in her tracks until, once again, Ryle distracts her from confronting her past. Seeking affirmation both from Ryle and from her mother brings Lily back to the joy she felt at the beginning of the day, before she saw Atlas and felt that the world was falling into place. She chooses to forget the future with Atlas that never amounted to anything and embrace the future coming into focus with Ryle.
Themes
