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How to Live Without Him
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Patron Saints of Nothing, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Truth, Adolescence, and Justice
Responsibility, Guilt, and Blame
Culture and Belonging
Death and Meaning
Summary
Analysis
The family gathers in the backyard at dusk. Tito Maning was too ashamed of Jun’s manner of death to invite the neighbors, but he didn’t stop them from having the memorial. Everyone stands around a picture of Jun and a candle. Tito Danilo has a Bible, and Jay has a letter. Tito Danilo steps forward and says that he's going to speak in English so that everyone present can commune with God. He leads the group in a few prayers and then reads from the Bible. The passage says that it’s considered a tragedy to lose someone, but the dead are at peace, because God tried them in life and found them worthy.
It's not entirely surprising that Tito Maning allowed his family to have a memorial, even though he previously forbade everyone from bringing Jun up. Tito Maning might be cruel, but he did care about Jun. Tito Danilo’s choice to use English seems to be for Jay’s benefit, but Tito Danilo doesn’t seem to resent speaking English, and Jay doesn’t get embarrassed by it—it’s an act of inclusion rather than exclusion. Tito Danilo’s Bible passage is interesting, because it doesn’t suggest that death has inherent meaning. Instead, it suggests that the dead are at peace because their lives had meaning, which God took note of. This isn’t that different from Grace’s reasoning for wanting to continue the “GISING NA PH!” account.
Themes
Jay doesn’t know if he believes what Tito Danilo is saying, because he still doesn’t understand life and death. He thinks that as a person gets older, they understand less and less. The idea that Jun had to suffer as a test is hard for Jay to stomach, and Jay doesn’t even know if Jun would have passed that test. But if Jun didn’t, who could? Tito Danilo continues, saying that Jun’s death was tragic, but the good he did in life remains. He asks each person to light their candle from Jun’s candle to demonstrate how Jun’s love and goodness multiplied. They can also speak if they want.
Jay is beginning to realize that he can never know every truth—growing up means accepting that the truth is complicated and sometimes impossible to obtain. Religious truth is no different. Danilo again affirms the meaning of life, and the way that a person’s life can multiply through the lives of those that person touched. Danilo’s invitation for everyone to speak if they want is, in fact, an invitation to end the silence that has engulfed the family since Jun’s death, and, before that, since Jay’s dad moved to the United States..
Themes
Tita Chato lights her candle first and speaks in what sounds to Jay like either Tagalog or Bikol. Jay wants to know what she’s saying but understands that it would be hard to mourn in a different language. Tita Chato starts crying and has to stop speaking. Grace and Angel speak in Tagalog and cry as well.
Once again, Jay doesn’t get panicked by his inability to speak Tagalog or Bikol, and he understands that not everyone can include him by speaking English the way Tito Danilo did. Again, it’s worth noting that this is the first time the family has grieved together since Jun died. Even though Tita Chato probably mourned Jun with Tita Ines, and Grace and Angel might have discussed Jun’s death, that’s not quite the same as mourning Jun openly without any secrecy.
Themes
Tito Danilo goes next and speaks in English, saying that Jun always challenged his faith, even as a child. Jun wanted to know why Tito Danilo believed the things he did, and he asked questions out of a genuine desire to understand. This helped Tito Danilo explore his own faith more fully, and that faith grew stronger because of Jun, even if Jun never became a believer himself. Lola and Lolo go next, and Lola speaks in Bikol.
It seems that Jun asked questions of everyone, including Tito Danilo. Like Jay, Jun was also seeking the truth, and Jay’s truth-seeking lead to positive results: by challenging his uncle’s beliefs, he strengthened his uncles belief. This is the sort of truth-seeking that Jay could believe in. Again, note how Jay isn’t hurt or panicked by his inability to speak Bikol when Lola begins speaking, which demonstrates Jay’s newfound confidence in his cultural identity.
Themes
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Jay goes next. He lights the candle, unfolds the letter he was holding, and reads it. It’s a letter from Jay to Jun, which Jay just wrote. In it, Jay reminds Jun of when the puppy died. The genuine comfort that Jun offers to Jay helped Jay to heal. Jay doesn’t want to believe that there was another side to Jun, but he’s going to try not to judge his cousin. No one is “just one thing,” Jay realizes. Everyone can heal and hurt, and they just have to try to do more good than bad. He thinks that ultimately, Jun did more good. Jay apologizes for the late reply to Jun, and he tells Jun that he loves and misses him. Jay will try to treat others the way Jun treated him after the puppy died.
It’s fitting that Jay uses a letter to speak to and about Jun. Jay once again remembers the puppy’s death, but this time, he doesn’t imply that the puppy’s death meant anything. Instead, Jay tells Jun that Jun’s kindness in life meant something, since Jun comforted Jay after the puppy died. Earlier in the novel, Jay had a black-and-white worldview: he wanted to find whoever was responsible for Jun’s death, and he believed that Jun was entirely good and innocent. Now, he knows this isn’t the case, and his letter suggests that he’s trying to reconcile the good and bad parts of Jun the same way he reconciled the good and bad parts of the Philippines. By noting that no one is “just one thing,” Jay is saying that people can be both bad and good simultaneously. In this letter, Jay once again acknowledges his guilt for not writing Jun back earlier, but by apologizing directly to Jun in letter form, he’s also letting go of that guilt. Finally, his promise that he’ll treat others as Jun treated him hints that while Jun’s death didn’t have the “meaning” that Jay thought it would, Jay will work to multiply the meaning of Jun’s life through how he lives his own life.
Themes
When Jay finishes speaking, he notices that Tito Maning is standing near the back door of the house. Jay remembers that Tito Maning tried to get Tito Danilo to help Jun, which confirms that no one is “one thing.” Jay nods at his uncle, and he thinks Tito Maning nods back. Tita Ami goes next, surprising everyone, since she’s defying Tito Maning by participating. She lets her candle drop to the ground and speaks for a long time in Tagalog, crying occasionally. Tito Maning approaches and wraps his arm around her. Everyone stands silently, and Jay can feel their collective sadness “subside.” He looks up and sees that the sky is dark but full of stars.
Jay is immediately given the opportunity to put his new, more nuanced worldview into practice. He’s forced to acknowledge that while Tito Maning might be cruel, he also loved Jun, which confirms that no one is just good or just bad. Tita Ami’s participation in the memorial service is surprising, since prior to this, she’s only defied Tito Maning in small ways. Tito Maning’s support is even more surprising, and it further proves that he’s not entirely bad, despite all of his cruelties and blind belief in power and obedience. Jay’s sense that the collective sadness subsides once more refers to the idea of a “flood,” and the easing of pain that comes from sharing it openly. Earlier, Jay couldn’t make himself look up at the stars because he was worried—in his despair—that the sky would be entirely dark. Now, he sees that the sky is dark, but there are stars, too, which means that good things are still possible. Jun’s death didn’t generate those good things, but life does go on—maybe this is what Jay’s mom was trying to say all along. Even if the truth about Jun was painful, it also allows the family to move on and heal.
Themes
