Communication and Authenticity Theme Analysis

Throughout Anthony’s family Christmas party, it becomes clear that his relationships with his family members are far from close. The family rarely gathers together, and when they do, they’re emotionally closed off from one another. None of them say what they actually think: Anthony’s mother expresses herself through subtle passive-aggression and judgmental glances; his wife, Marie, has an entirely contrived personality and mannerisms; and Anthony and his father avoid conflict by keeping their thoughts and feelings private. As a result, the family doesn’t communicate openly, and so they aren’t able to genuinely connect and bond with one another. Through a series of tense and forced interactions, the story shows how ineffective communication and artificial personas can erode relationships and isolate people from one another.

Both Anthony’s mother and Marie put on false personas around other people, which makes Anthony feel like he can’t have a real relationship with either of them. Both women primarily communicate not through words, but through harsh, judgmental looks that Anthony calls “Evil Rays.” His mother’s Evil Rays are particularly full of “contempt, accusation, disdain, puzzled faux-innocence.” Alongside this, she makes comments throughout the story (about Anthony and Marie’s choice of home decor, for instance) that sound polite but are actually meant as subtle insults. In this way, Anthony’s mother never outright says what she thinks—instead, she conveys her true feelings through passive-aggressive compliments or nonverbally through facial expressions. And, as a result, Anthony feels like they can’t be open or trust each other.

Marie, too, is emotionally closed-off and inauthentic. Anthony remembers how, years ago, Marie used to have a “broad and unselfconscious” grin. Now, however, she has a different smile. It’s a “trained one—lips closed and chin raised like a model of cool serenity, a perfected study of herself.” Instead of openly expressing what she feels, Marie appears “trained” and “cool” at all times; she speaks and emotes in a measured, polite way, even when she’s angry. Anthony can’t stand this, as her artificial persona prevents the couple from hashing out their problems and leaves Anthony feeling resentful and distant from his wife.

Anthony and his father also fail to openly express themselves, which further compounds the family’s rift in communication. As a result of his mother and Marie’s behavior, Anthony, too, feels pressured to put on a faux-polite persona and mediate his family’s disagreements. In particular, he wants to “thwart [his mother] with unrelenting good cheer” rather than stand up for himself or stoop to her level during the Christmas gathering. He also passively accepts that whenever he leaves the room, his mother will openly criticize him in front of the rest of the family, and Marie may or may not defend him. In essence, Anthony quietly endures his mother and Marie’s snide remarks and “murderous[]” looks, and so they continue to treat him like this throughout the party. His silent toleration of his wife and mother’s mistreatment prevents him from truly resolving conflicts with either of them. Anthony’s father, meanwhile, is similarly passive. Readers aren’t given insight into his thoughts, and he’s only mentioned a briefly, when the narration describes him watching a televised cricket game and good-naturedly eating one of Marie’s appetizers to “keep the peace” during the party. He never challenges Anthony’s mother’s rude behavior or plays an active role in any of the family’s conversations. This suggests that he, like Anthony, has chosen to stay quiet rather than involve himself in conflict—which further impedes the family’s ability to communicate and meaningfully connect.

These issues of emotional repression and poor communication have caused Anthony’s relationships to suffer over time, which leaves him feeling isolated even when surrounded by family. Anthony reflects that, before the party, he told Marie that his parents wouldn’t come to Christmas lunch unless they invited his sister Margaret and her husband and children. Moreover, during the party, Anthony’s mother points out that “There's so few occasions we're all together like this.” All of this hints that Anthony’s family relationships are deeply broken, so much so that his parents aren’t interested in seeing him and Marie, only Margaret’s side of the family. They’re all estranged from one another and rarely make an effort to gather together, likely as a direct result of their failure to open up and genuinely connect.

Later that afternoon, while the family is opening gifts, Anthony looks over at Marie and wonders, “Does she love him? She lets him see her in the morning without makeup, does that count?” His uncertainty suggests that the lack of openness and authenticity in the couple’s relationship has left them completely alienated from each other, to the point that Marie going makeup-free around Anthony is as intimate and vulnerable as they get. As a result of these strained relationships, Anthony feels completely alone, even on Christmas in a room full of his closest relatives. Any time there’s a task or activity for him to do in another room, he “eagerly” jumps up and rushes to escape the “deoxygenated” feeling of being around his family. With this, the story suggests that a relationship devoid of authentic communication isn’t much of a relationship at all—it’s merely an obligation, one that’s suffocating and emotionally exhausting rather than fulfilling.