Understanding and Connection Theme Analysis

John Marcher believes that he’s unique, as he’s convinced that he’s fated to experience a life-altering event. Because he assumes that no one can understand him, he hides his authentic self in public. However, he eventually learns that he revealed his secret long ago to a woman named May Bartram. Marcher continues to believe in his own uniqueness, but he also likes that May knows his secret; in fact, he sometimes wishes that everyone could. Then, at the end of the novella, Marcher encounters a grieving man and, through him, recognizes his own repressed emotions. The two of them understand each other, which means that Marcher’s experience hasn’t been unique. Marcher’s desire to be understood, and the fact that he was understood (both by May and by the man), ironically proves that his life wasn’t unique at all. In fact, many human experiences are universal—and yearning for connection with others, as Marcher does, is a natural part of life.

Before Marcher encounters May, he believes that no one can understand him. Because his fate is disturbing and potentially dangerous, he avoids sharing it with anyone, since knowing his fate would burden or endanger them. Marcher assumes that no one can understand his experience, so he keeps his feelings secret. Since Marcher is trying to avoid connecting with anyone, he has to avoid appearing as unique as he feels. He cultivates polite manners and wears a figurative “mask” in public, distancing himself from others by hiding his authentic self. Although Marcher thinks his life is unique, he has to hide any sign of uniqueness, which ensures that no one will get close enough to him to understand him.

But it turns out that Marcher did want at least one person to understand him. After a run-in with May Bartram at her great-aunt’s estate, Marcher learns that 10 years earlier, he told May about his fate. Interestingly, Marcher has no memory of telling her and can’t explain why he did so, let alone why he forgot. The fact that he repressed this memory suggests that his divulgence was an unplanned impulse, one he maybe regretted. However, Marcher ends up enjoying the fact that May knows about his fate, which suggests that he does want someone to understand him. Marcher is able to be himself around May, and when he’s with her, he feels “spared” from his lonely burden. Still, Marcher continues to believe that his experience is so unique that it has to be hidden. Part of the reason he appreciates May is that even though she knows the truth, she sees him from an outsider’s perspective and can evaluate how effective his “mask” is. Even better, she affirms Marcher’s uniqueness by taking his fate seriously and waiting for it alongside him.

Later, readers learn that Marcher’s impulse to tell May his secret may have revealed his innermost desire: even though he thinks outsiders can’t understand him, he wishes that they could. As Marcher and May are guarding his secret, they still speak openly about Marcher’s fate, assuming that no one can understand what they’re saying. It’s possible that Marcher believes his secret is best hidden in the open, but it’s also possible that he subconsciously wishes someone would hear and understand his secret. Alternatively, he might speak openly to confirm his fear that no one can understand him, even if he wants them to. After May dies of a blood disorder, Marcher wishes that he could tell everyone the true nature of his friendship with May. Since he and May are unmarried, no one understands the depth of his grief. In fact, Marcher even considers telling everyone his secret. He ultimately doesn’t, but his hesitation suggests that he wasn’t content with having only May understand him—he wants to be understood by everyone, even though he doesn’t think that’s possible.

Eventually, Marcher learns that his experience was never unique—both because he wanted to be understood by and connect with others (the same as anyone else would) and because he was understood. After May dies, Marcher realizes that she understood him better than he understood himself. May knew that Marcher’s fate was to die without experiencing love, and she also knew that he was capable of loving her, an emotion that he’d repressed. Not only did May understand Marcher, but she shared at least part of his experience, since she waited for his fate alongside him. This means that Marcher’s experience wasn’t unique, and that May understood Marcher even better than he understood himself. While Marcher is mourning at May’s grave, he encounters another mourner. With a glance, the mourner shows his grief to Marcher, possibly because he recognizes Marcher’s sorrow and wants to prove that his is deeper. The encounter proves both that Marcher’s desire to be understood is universal—the man wants a witness to his grief—and that Marcher can be understood, even by a stranger. The man recognizes that Marcher is grieving and might even recognize that Marcher never fully loved the woman he grieves, which is why the man wants to prove his devotion. Marcher’s experience isn’t unique, even if his fate is; the mourner understands Marcher instantly, and both Marcher and the mourner clearly crave connection with others.

Marcher’s desire for connection proves that he’s just like everyone else. Wanting to connect with others is a common human experience—one that Marcher, May, and the mourner all share. Although Marcher’s fate might be unique and unnatural, his trajectory throughout the novella is anything but: he believes that others can’t understand him, he wants to be understood, and finally, he realizes that he is understood. Marcher believed strongly in his own uniqueness, but his innermost desires were standard, understandable, and even universal.