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Chapter Three
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Before We Were Free, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Coming of Age and Political Consciousness
Adulthood, Childhood, and Fear
Family and Politics
Storytelling and Trauma
Summary
Analysis
Anita writes that Mrs. Brown always says that writing makes someone more interesting and more thoughtful. Writing is definitely making Anita think more—especially about Sam. She wants him to be her boyfriend. Anita explains that she writes in pencil in her diary so she can erase everything with Carla’s eraser if the SIM come. She’s also worried about Mami, who’s not usually nosy but under current circumstances, might overreact. So Anita writes personal things in the morning and then erases them at night. She hasn’t told Sam about her diary for fear he’ll want to read it. Anita wishes she had the invisible ink that Sam told her about, because writing in pencil and erasing makes her sad.
At this point, the novel begins to read more like Anita’s diary. Here, Anita seems like a budding preteen in that she’s interested in romance and agonized that Sam might discover how she feels. This passage begins to show the effects of having to live with so much secrecy and silence. While Mrs. Brown and Anita both think that writing down thoughts helps someone to develop their personality and intellect, this is not something that Anita is really able to do—she has to erase her thoughts as soon as she writes them, and she probably self-censors to some degree, since she lives in so much fear of her mother or the government finding her diary. So not only is Anita not able to develop her writing in the way she wants to, but she’s also sad about having to erase deeply-felt feelings each day, which feels like an assault on her personhood. This is the novel’s first clue that silence can be traumatizing—though at this point, it’s not yet truly traumatic, just frustrating.
Themes
The principal postpones the start of school until the end of January, since so many American students will be away for the inauguration of John F. Kennedy. The Farlands won’t be coming back afterwards, so Papi takes Anita to go say goodbye. Anita catches bits of the adults’ conversation—which includes mentions of tennis shoes, Butterflies, and a CIA intervention—but Mrs. Farland sends Anita to play with Joey. Anita knows how the Americans elect their presidents and that the president can only win the election twice. In the Dominican Republic, Trujillo is the only one who runs in elections. He’s been the jefe for 31 years and nobody will tell Anita why no one runs against him.
Visiting Joey and thinking about American elections helps Anita come up with more questions about her own government; she doesn’t understand why Trujillo gets to be president indefinitely, while in other countries the citizens have a choice. This is more evidence that Anita is beginning to understand that her government isn’t trustworthy or desirable—it doesn’t seem responsive to the people’s will.
Themes
At the next canasta get together, the women list the families who have left. Mrs. Washburn insists that she’s not leaving until Mr. Washburn leaves. She says that “That S.O.B.’s a dead duck if he dares lay a hand on us,” which elicits no response from the Dominican ladies. Mami primly asks Mrs. Washburn to put a lid on the sugar bowl to protect it from flies. Anita doesn’t see any flies and wonders if Lorena, who’s collecting empty cups, scared them away. Then, Anita realizes Mami is speaking in code—talking about flies means the women are being overheard. Anita feels like she’s not supposed to be here. She felt the same way when Lucinda told her what menstruation was.
The women’s conversation gives the impression that there’s been a mass exodus of families from the Dominican Republic, both American (like the Farlands) and Dominican (like Anita’s extended family). This suggests that conditions in the DR are deteriorating and the family might be in increasing danger. When Mrs. Washburn references an “S.O.B.” being a “dead duck” if he hurts her family, she seems to be suggesting that if Trujillo hurt the Washburns, the American government would kill him. While Trujillo can hurt Dominicans with impunity, in other words, the global power of the American government means that Americans living abroad (like the Washburns) are somewhat insulated from violence. But even though Mrs. Washburn herself might feel safe, it doesn’t seem to occur to her that calling Trujillo an “S.O.B.” might put the Dominican women she’s with in danger. That’s why Mami makes a coded reference to being overheard (flies are bugs, and the house might be bugged with recording devices).
Themes
Anita starts spending more time in the bathroom. She stands in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection and wondering if she’s pretty enough for Sam. One afternoon, Mrs. Mancini brings Oscar to the canasta meeting. Anita is worried that Sam won’t want to hang out with her if Oscar is around and puts off going outside to play. She finally finds the boys jumping on the trampoline, and it upsets Anita that they became friends without her. All of this is confusing; Anita thinks that writing is the only thing that makes her feel less crazy. She turns to go back inside, but Oscar yells and leads Sammy after her. Anita feels happy again.
Spending more time in the bathroom thinking about Sam is another indicator that Anita is growing up and fast becoming a teenager. She now sees herself not just as an individual person, but as a person who might be attractive to others. Again, this shift isn’t altogether comfortable for her. This shows up when Anita says she feels crazy and writing is the only way she can sort out her thoughts. Telling her story, even just to herself, helps her process these difficult emotions.
Themes
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Anita sits with Sam and Oscar under the trampoline as Oscar shares that the school might close due to everyone leaving. Sam announces that his family is staying, since they have “amnesia.” Oscar corrects him, saying that Sam’s family has immunity, not amnesty. Oscar’s family also has immunity, and Oscar notes that lots of people—like Anita’s uncle—hide in the embassies to escape the SIM. This piques Anita’s interest, but Oscar says he can’t say which uncle. In any case, countries are closing their embassies due to the embargo. This is why the U.S. now has a consulate instead of an embassy, which means that Mr. Washburn can’t help people “who want to free this country.” Anita wants to shout that they are free, but she realizes they’re not—Anita has to erase her diary, Tío Toni is gone, and the SIM raided the property.
This conversation shows again how observant and inquisitive kids can be. Oscar, for one, knows the difference between amnesty and immunity (that is, a family with immunity can’t be arrested or prosecuted in the Dominican Republic, while amnesty refers to pardoning someone). And while Oscar might not fully understand the implication of having a consulate versus having an embassy, he does understand the main functional difference: Mr. Washburn won’t be able to help the resistance movement as much as he may have in the past. It’s a bitter moment when Anita wants to defend her country but realizes that she can’t—her own life is evidence of the fact that the Dominican Republic has a repressive and unjust regime.
Themes
Anita writes everything Oscar says in her diary. She doesn’t know what she’d do without it, as writing makes her feel like she’s piecing her world back together. Things are confusing. Lucinda now lets Anita stay in bed with her when Anita has nightmares, and Oscar tells terrifying stories about El Jefe. Anita shudders to think that she prayed to El Jefe instead of Jesus. One day, Oscar explains what it means to “disappear” someone. It means arresting someone, cutting out their eyes and fingernails, and throwing the body in the sea. Sam is impressed; Anita feels ready to vomit. She changes the subject by mentioning the ghost she and Sam believe lives in Tío Toni’s house. Oscar suggests they go look.
Though things are confusing, they’re not all bad—keeping a diary is fulfilling and enlightening, and it’s a step forward for Anita and Lucinda now that Lucinda is willing to care more for her little sister. But when Anita learns what it means to “disappear” someone, it’s quite traumatic because she knows that this could happen to her family. Sam, on the other hand, reacts as though this information is simply cool—obviously, this is because he has no personal stake in the matter and doesn’t have to imagine his American family being affected.
Themes
Chucha intercepts the children before they can get there. After scolding Anita, she warns Anita to be careful—things will happen soon, and Anita won’t find protection except in “dark hiding places, wings, and prayers.” Sam can’t understand Chucha’s mix of Spanish and Haitian words, so Anita tells him that Chucha is speaking in riddles. Then, Anita asks Chucha if Tío Toni is okay. Suddenly, Toni’s face appears in the window of his house. Both Oscar and Sam see the face and Sam asks who it is. Chucha tells Anita to tell Sam “that it’s someone he did not see.”
Chucha seems to know better than anyone what’s going on, although she—like the other adults—won’t express herself directly. Chucha’s riddles aren’t all that different from the code words that Anita hears her parents using, except that Chucha’s riddles seem more like something Anita could eventually decipher. Finally confirming that the family is harboring Tío Toni is probably both relieving and frightening to Anita—Toni hasn’t been disappeared, which is good, but the family is doing something that is a clear affront to the Trujillo regime, and the punishment if they were caught would be severe. Chucha’s riddle perhaps gestures towards this and suggests that these consequences might be coming soon.
Themes
Anita is writing Chucha’s words to Sam in her diary when Mami knocks on the door. Anita erases her entry and shoves the diary under her pillow. Mami leads Anita outside and says she knows unusual things are happening. When Mami says softly that Anita has to be a big girl now, Anita snaps that she’s 12. She hates it when people talk to her like she’s little, but she also misses being a kid. Mami apologizes and says she’s going to talk to Anita like she’s a young lady. Anita rolls her eyes and says she already knows a lot, but she decides not to tell Mami about seeing Tío Toni or Oscar’s scary stories. Instead, she says she’s been learning about becoming a señorita.
Mami’s decision to talk to Anita like Anita is an adult speaks to Anita’s increasing maturity level. Even if other adults won’t treat Anita like the adult she feels she is, Mami understands that treating Anita like an adult gives her the best chance of figuring out how to get through this difficult time. When Anita doesn’t take this opportunity to ask about Toni or Oscar’s stories, it suggests that Anita is learning to be quiet and listen. At this point, though, this could be good or bad.
Themes
Mami says that Anita’s uncles were unhappy with the government. They made a plan, but the SIM found out and arrested or killed those who didn’t leave the country. She says that Papi didn’t want to get involved at first, since he didn’t want to put his family in danger. But now, he believes that a life without freedom isn’t worth living. Anita thinks this sounds terrifying, so she asks why they don’t find freedom in New York. Mami points out that people have to persist to change things for the better, which makes Anita feel ashamed for being afraid. Mami says that one day, they’ll be free and, at that point, the rest of the family will return. She says the embargo is already helping; it’s pressuring Trujillo to appear more fair to other countries, so he released some political prisoners who were Tío Toni’s friends.
Here, Mami tries to explain to Anita that Papi got involved with the resistance movement knowing that it was dangerous. But Papi also knew that getting involved was the only way to make sure his family was going to be safe in the Dominican Republic. When Anita asks why they don’t just flee, Mami emphasizes that making change requires remaining in their country—thi evokes the moment at Christmastime when they saw the poor kids at the market and Papi said that they should all be able to have an education. For Papi, staying in the Dominican Republic and making things better for everyone is more ethical than prioritizing only his family and fleeing to New York. It’s concerning, though, that Anita feels ashamed for being afraid. She may feel that Mami is putting too much pressure on her.
Themes
Mami explains that Tío Toni has been in hiding. He’s safe with Mr. Washburn next door, but Anita needs to avoid drawing attention to him. Then, Mami swears Anita to secrecy and asks that Anita stop writing in her diary for a while. Anita feels gutted, but Mami says they have to be like the caterpillar in its cocoon. They have to be secret until they can spread their wings. Anita agrees and erases her diary.
To Mami, asking Anita to stop writing in her diary may seem like an unfortunate but necessary request to keep the family safe. For Anita, though, it deprives her of the one place where she can think through everything that’s happening and try to make sense of it. Without her diary, Anita’s emotional wellbeing might suffer.
Themes
