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Chapter Five
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Before We Were Free, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Coming of Age and Political Consciousness
Adulthood, Childhood, and Fear
Family and Politics
Storytelling and Trauma
Summary
Analysis
As Anita walks home after the party, her parents discuss El Jefe’s surprise visit. Papi thanks Anita, his “little messenger.” Anita feels proud, even if the party was disappointing, since Mami wouldn’t let Anita leave her side. Mami says that Tío Toni is putting the family in danger, but Papi insists he’s safest in the compound. When they hear Lorena drop empty platters, Mami hisses that they have to fire her. Anita knows they have to be careful about it; Lorena might report things to the SIM. Fortunately Lorena is superstitious, so the family can ask Chucha to frighten her off. When Anita sees Chucha standing in the doorway, she feels safe. Recently, Chucha had a dream in which Anita, Lucinda, Mundín, and Mami all flew away. When Anita asked about Papi, Chucha said, “Not everyone can be a butterfly.”
Even if the party was disappointing because Anita didn’t get to experience the independence she hoped for, it’s still thrilling for Anita to have helped her family stay safe. The experience of being Papi’s messenger, then, shows Anita that politics can help her feel closer and more loyal to her family, and that sometimes this is more important than trying to feel grown up. Further, it’s telling that Anita feels so safe seeing Chucha in the doorway. Chucha is, in many ways, a part of Anita’s family; Anita trusts her entirely. This is why Anita takes Chucha’s dream seriously, although the content of the dream is frightening—it implies that while Anita and her siblings will be safe, her father might not make it.
Themes
The next morning, a limousine from the palace arrives with roses for Lucinda, from “an admirer.” Lucinda bursts into tears—the roses are from El Jefe. She begs Mami to not let El Jefe take her away. Mami pauses and looks at Anita before saying she’ll cut off El Jefe’s hands if he touches Lucinda. Later, Susie and Mrs. Washburn drop by. Susie assures Lucinda that Mr. Washburn will keep her safe, while Mrs. Washburn starts to tell Mami that El Jefe has eyes on some part of his body. She looks at Anita and says he has eyes “on the back of his butt.” Anita asks where Sam is. Mrs. Washburn shares that Sam and Oscar got into the rum last night, so they’re still asleep.
The pointed looks that Mami and Mrs. Washburn throw Anita before talking about El Jefe suggest they’re censoring themselves in front of her—it’s likely that Mami wants to threaten to cut off El Jefe’s genitals (not his hands) and that Mrs. Washburn is implying that El Jefe has eyes somewhere other than his butt. It’s telling that Anita doesn’t seem to pick up on the meaning of this—only that the adults aren’t quite saying what they mean. It shows that while she’s longing to be treated like an adult, she’s not quite processing the situation in an adult way yet. Neither are Oscar and Sam, who clearly don’t yet know how to tolerate rum.
Themes
The phone rings. Lorena picks it up and says it’s “Un señor”—a man “who needs no introduction.” Lucinda sobs. Mrs. Washburn takes the phone and says there’s no one named Lucinda here. When Papi gets home, Mami fills him in. He goes to talk with Tío Toni and Mr. Washburn. The phone rings all day and no one answers it, since Mami gives Lorena the afternoon off. Finally, Papi and Mr. Washburn come up with a plan to send Lucinda to Colombia. Tío Toni isn’t sure it’ll work, so he suggests they “take Smith down now.” Papi agrees that, “The king must die,” which shocks Anita. She can’t concentrate all day because she can’t believe her father would do something he always told her was wrong.
This is a moment of intense crisis for the family—the powerful Trujillo dictatorship now wants to take Lucinda and rape her, which causes Tío Toni and Papi to agree that they must finally assassinate Trujillo. The family has accepted a lot from the Trujillo regime so far (surveillance, repression, and the persecution of Tío Toni), but this is different. Tío Toni was a member of the resistance, so it was rational (if not morally just) that the regime was after him. By contrast, Lucinda is an innocent person who has done nothing to wrong Trujillo—she’s being targeted simply for being a beautiful young girl, and the immense evil of Trujillo thinking he is entitled to her simply because he is powerful makes Papi and Tío Toni’s choice morally clear. This is not, however, so clear to Anita, who has always been taught that killing is wrong. She’s trying to square the gravity of the situation with her respect for her father, her love of her sister, and the moral lessons that she’s always been taught, but it’s still confusing to her. She’s not quite adult enough to make sense of her family’s actions, but she’s going to have to understand soon.
Themes
Finally, Anita asks Mundín if Papi is going to kill El Jefe. He swiftly covers her mouth and tells her to be quiet, making Anita cry. Anita seeks out Lucinda, who’s in the middle of packing. Mami and Mrs. Washburn help her put together a small bag of necessary items. Anita is stunned. She feels as though she’s become ancient in the last few months. The thought of losing Lucinda is sad and Anita feels as though boys have suddenly become disgusting. Her male peers are drinking and vomiting, while an old man is courting Lucinda. Anita wishes she could cut her hair and dress like a boy—or go back to being 11.
Anita’s desire to dress like a boy suggests that she now sees her femininity as a liability. She, like Lucinda, might one day be the target of sexual violence, and that’s understandably horrifying. However, she’s also suddenly critical of the men around her—her male playmates are drinking and throwing up, her father is planning an assassination, and her country’s leader is trying to rape her sister. Suddenly, she doesn’t feel that she can trust any men, and yet the women around her—ones she usually trusts, like Lucinda—seem vulnerable and unable to keep her safe. It’s a terrible position for Anita to be in. In an indication of just how distressing this is, Anita for the first time wishes she could be younger. For the whole novel, she has wanted to seem older than she is, but now she sees that growing up means facing terrible things.
Themes
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Lucinda invites Anita to sleep with her that night. After they turn out the light, Anita sees visions of Papi and Tío Toni around El Jefe’s body, covered in blood. She hears sobbing and realizes it’s Lucinda. Lucinda apologizes for every mean thing she did and Anita bursts into tears too. Once they calm down, Lucinda tells Anita about all the boys she’s kissed. Eventually, the girls fall asleep. Anita wakes up early and feels like her legs and nightgown are wet. She’s afraid she wet the bed but when she lifts the sheets, she sees blood. Anita can’t figure out what happened, so she pokes Lucinda. Lucinda congratulates Anita. Now, Anita is a señorita.
It’s significant that Anita’s first thought upon feeling the blood on her legs is that she wet the bed—something associated with childhood. Instead, Anita started her period, which indicates that she’s now a young woman (a señorita). Perhaps it’s wishful thinking that Anita interprets this as having wet the bed—growing up has become scary to her, and getting her period is just another affirmation of the growing dangers she will have to face. Anita’s visions of Papi and Tío Toni speak to how disturbed she is at the prospect of them assassinating Trujillo. These thoughts are difficult and even traumatizing—but Anita has nowhere to process these emotions without her diary.
Themes
Anita doesn’t feel grown-up, and she doesn’t want to be a señorita now that she knows what El Jefe does to them. When Anita begs Lucinda to not tell Mami (she can’t stand the thought of Papi knowing), Lucinda asks what to do with the sheets. Anita knows that Chucha will keep her secret, so she gathers the sheets and slips out. Mami, Papi, and Mr. Washburn are already in the study. Anita finds Chucha outside. Chucha isn’t surprised. She studies the sheets and says, “This will do.” She promises to not tell Mami, shares that both Lucinda and Susie will leave today, and says they have to get rid of one more person while glancing at Lorena’s room.
Starting her period isn’t an exciting marker of Anita’s burgeoning adulthood. For Anita, it means that she’s now at risk, and the fewer people who know about it the better. Her ability to trust Chucha drives home again that Chucha is family for Anita. Chucha will be here to support Anita as she grows and changes, and she’ll always tell Anita the truth—such as that Lucinda and Susie are leaving the country today. Previously, the family has discussed having Chucha frighten Lorena into quitting, since it’s not politically feasible for them to fire her. It seems that Chucha now wants to put this plan in motion.
Themes
Chucha leads Anita to her room. There, they pray to a picture of San Miguel. Then, Anita helps Chucha drag her coffin to Lorena’s room. They arrange the bloody sheets so they spill out of the coffin, as though a dead person has crawled out. Anita feels mean, but she knows that she has to do this to protect her family. She thinks that people have to do bad things—like assassinate Mr. Smith—in order to be safe. Murder is wrong, but El Jefe is evil. He kills people and rapes young girls. When Chucha and Anita are done, Anita heads back to her room. She runs into Mr. Washburn and averts her eyes—she’s sure he can tell she started her period. He says that Lucinda’s visa came through. Anita decides that Mr. Washburn is a good, trustworthy man, like Papi and Mundín.
This passage marks the emergence of a more complex moral framework for Anita. She and Chucha are conspiring to scare Lorena into quitting, and it’s fitting that the sheets appear in this moment; just as the sheets are mark Anita’s physical maturation, her attitude towards frightening Lorena marks her new acceptance of how complicated moral behavior can be. While it’s certainly not nice to try to frighten Lorena into quitting, they must do it to keep their family safe—especially since Lucinda is attempting to flee Trujillo, and Lorena could spoil this plan. So just as Anita finally accepts that her father might have to kill someone in order to do justice, she accepts that she might have to scare someone to help her sister. Anita’s acknowledgement that some men—including her father and Mr. Washburn—are good is also an indication that she’s getting beyond black-and-white moral thinking and learning to accept complexity.
Themes
In Lucinda’s room, Mami tells Lucinda that she won’t have to teach English or be a maid—she has a visitor’s visa and will accompany Susie to Susie’s grandparents’ house. When Mami asks about the stripped bed, Lucinda says that Chucha knew she’d be leaving. Then, they hear a scream from the other end of the house. Chucha appears moments later with the news that Lorena is leaving.
It’s a mark of Anita and Lucinda’s improving relationship that Lucinda makes good on her promise and keeps Anita’s secret about getting her period. Now, it’s up to Anita whether or not to tell Mami or anyone else. This is a situation that makes Anita seem far more mature, as she’s wholly in control of her secret.
Themes
