Normal People

by

Sally Rooney

Connell’s mother works for Marianne’s family as a house cleaner in the fictional Irish town of Carricklea. He often interacts with Marianne when he picks up his mother, but he avoids talking to her at school, since everyone dislikes her there—everyone, that is, except Connell, but he’s too embarrassed to let his fondness for her show. Still, he enjoys talking to her about literature and life in general. They’re both at the top of their class, and although everyone thinks Marianne is “weird,” Connell connects with her in a way he can’t connect with anyone else. Eventually, Marianne admits that she likes him as more than a friend, prompting him to say that he’s confused about his feelings: he likes her, but he thinks it’d be awkward if people found out. After agreeing to keep their relationship a secret, they kiss.

Both Connell and Marianne will be going to college next year. Connell was originally planning to go to school near home, but Marianne convinces him to broaden his horizons by applying to Trinity College in Dublin, which is where she’ll be going, too. As they prepare for their final exams, they spend a lot of time together having sex and forming a close bond. But Connell still doesn’t want anyone to know. He even asks a girl named Rachel to the “Debs” dance at the end of the year, thinking it’s not a big deal because he doesn’t have feelings for her. Marianne, however, is deeply hurt. In the weeks leading up to the end of term, Marianne stops going to school and refuses to answer Connell’s texts. Her absence in his life throws him into a mild depressive state that is only made worse when his friend Eric tells him that everyone knew there was something going on between him and Marianne—nobody, he realizes, would have cared if they’d dated.

Connell and Marianne don’t see each other again until they run into each other at a party in Dublin. They’re both attending Trinity, but their lives are much different. Connell has had a hard time finding friends, feeling out place among students from wealthier backgrounds. But Marianne is quite popular. When they see each other at the party, they get along very well—the ugliness from their past doesn’t go unacknowledged, but it also doesn’t keep them from being friendly and even flirting. Marianne has a boyfriend, but she and Connell still connect at the party, with Connell explaining that, although he ended up dating Rachel after the dance, he never really felt they were a good match. Marianne jokes that she could have told Connell that from the start, and he admits that he could have used her help. But she wasn’t answering his texts at that point.

Over the course of Marianne and Connell’s first year in college, they rekindle their close relationship. Marianne introduces Connell to her many friends. He still doesn’t feel like he fits in at Trinity, but things get better—he likes Niall, his roommate, and he often socializes with Marianne and her friends in the evenings. Although they both date other people at various points throughout the year, they never lose touch. By April, they’re more or less together, though their romantic relationship isn’t public until Peggy, one of Marianne’s friends, bluntly asks if they’re sleeping together. They say that they are, but they don’t define themselves as a “couple.”

At the end of their first school year, the restaurant Connell works for goes out of business. He won’t be able to pay his rent, so he tells Niall that he’ll have to move out. But he doesn’t want to go back to Carricklea. He sleeps at Marianne’s apartment most nights anyway, so he figures it won’t be a big deal to stay with her for the summer. She never cares about money, anyway. But he has trouble working up the nerve to tell her about his predicament. He puts the conversation off for as long as possible. Then, when he finally tells her that he has to move out of his apartment, she immediately says that she assumes he’ll be going back to Carricklea. Taken by surprise, he hears himself saying that she’s right: he’s going home. Dismayed at how the conversation has gone, he feels like it’s too late to clarify what he originally meant. Worse, he voices his assumption that Marianne will want to see other people. She takes his question to mean that he wants to see others, so she says she’s all right with that, too.

They don’t talk for most of the summer, but then they run into each other in the supermarket in Carricklea. Marianne has come home to attend an anniversary Mass for her father, who died a long time ago. Connell gives Marianne a ride home from the supermarket and learns about the Mass, which is scheduled for the following day. He tells her he’ll be there. They also talk about Marianne’s new boyfriend, Jamie, but their conversation remains cordial. Connell goes to the Mass the next day and seeks out Marianne’s eyes, making her feel supported and at ease. In the fall, they meet up for coffee and talk some more about Jamie, as Marianne explains that Jamie likes to beat her up during sex. Connell is disturbed to hear Marianne talk about Jamie hurting her, but she tells him that it was her idea in the first place. Connell doesn’t know it, but Marianne is used to experiencing violence from loved ones, since her brother, Alan, often becomes physically aggressive toward her (he also verbally abuses her).

By January of their second year in college, Marianne is still with Jamie, and Connell is dating a young woman named Helen. But they still have a very close relationship—so close, in fact, that Marianne cries when Connell first tells her about Helen. By the summer, though, they’re on good terms again. Both Marianne and Connell received prestigious scholarships that cover their full tuition, room, and boarding at Trinity. Nothing about the scholarship has changed Marianne’s daily life, but it has greatly impacted Connell, who, for the first time in his life, doesn’t have to worry about money. Accordingly, he spends the summer traveling Europe with friends, eventually ending at Marianne’s family vacation home in Trieste, Italy. Marianne has been staying there with Peggy and Jamie, and it’s obvious when Connell and his friends arrive that things are tense between her and Jamie. At dinner that night, Jamie criticizes Marianne and acts like she’s stupid. They go inside to argue, and then everyone hears a shriek. Connell goes to make sure everything is all right and watches Jamie purposefully drop a champagne glass that he knows used to belong to Marianne’s father, prompting Marianne to lunge at him. Connell separates them and brings Marianne outside, where they hold each other without saying much.

That night, Marianne sleeps in Connell’s bed. She tells him that her family doesn’t love her, revealing that Alan abuses her. Connell is so overwhelmed with emotion that he starts crying. He kisses Marianne and moves toward her, but she says they should stop. He apologizes, but she just goes to sleep.

The following academic year, Marianne studies abroad in Sweden. She broke up with Jamie after the trip to Italy. He didn’t take it well and has turned their friend group against her. But Marianne is far away from all that in Sweden, seeing a photographer named Lukas who likes to take provocative pictures of her. He also likes to play a “game” during sex—a game in which he says bad things about Marianne while she remains silent. One afternoon, she goes to his studio for a photoshoot, and he ties her up. But then he says that he loves her, and she writhes against the knots, shouting at him to untie her. He does, and then she tells him never to say anything like that again, wondering how he could actually believe that he loves her while treating her so terribly.

While Marianne is away for the year, Connell learns that Rob, a friend from home, killed himself. The news of Rob’s death throws Connell into a deep depression. He has always felt some anxiety, but now it feels unmanageable. He lies on the floor for hours one night, fantasizing about what it would be like to just stay there and die of dehydration. Worried about his bleak state, Niall suggests that Connell go to the school’s mental health services. He does, but his conversation with the counselor doesn’t help much. One problem is that Connell doesn’t have many people to talk to. He broke up with Helen after she accompanied him to Rob’s funeral. What’s more, he still doesn’t feel like he fits in at Trinity, and Marianne—the only person who really understands him—is away. Around this time, though, he starts writing short stories and hanging out with Sadie, who edits the campus literary journal. Despite his sadness, he has brief moments of pleasure while writing.

That summer, both Connell and Marianne live at home in Carricklea. They see each other a lot, and Marianne is instrumental in helping Connell work through his depression. One evening, they’re lounging in Connell’s bedroom watching a soccer game when they start talking about the romantic side of their relationship. They were dancing at a bar the night before but ended up parting ways for the night, even though they both wanted to be with each other. As they rehash the evening, they talk about how hard it is sometimes to know what the other wants, and Connell admits that sometimes he thinks it’d be easier if there weren’t romantic overtones to their friendship. Even as they talk this way, though, they start becoming physically intimate. Soon enough, they’re having sex for the first time in a long while. Everything about it feels right, but then Marianne asks Connell to hit her. Her request brings their lovemaking to an abrupt halt, as he says that he couldn’t do that, thinking it would be “weird.” His comment offends Marianne, who quickly gets dressed and walks back to her house before he can convince her to stay. When she gets home, Alan becomes abusive toward her, eventually opening a door in her face and causing her to bleed profusely. She calls Connell, who immediately comes over and tells her to get in the car, and then he walks up to Alan and threatens to kill him if he ever hurts Marianne again.

That winter, Marianne and Connell spend most of their time together. Connell even shows his love by kissing her in public or telling her he loves her. But he doesn’t tell her that Sadie encouraged him to apply to a graduate Creative Writing program in New York. One day in February, he’s surprised to learn that he actually got in. Marianne is hurt that he didn’t tell her, but she also insists that he go. He tells her there’s no way he could ever leave her behind and go to New York on his own, prompting her to reflect on the fact that he would never have come to Dublin if not for her. She has helped him find a good life. And he, in turn, has made her feel loved and less lonely. Knowing things will never be the same if he leaves, she tells him again to go to New York—she’ll always be here, she says.