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Great Aunt Mary
John’s letters to Great Aunt Mary, written when he was a soldier fighting in World War I, reveal that he and Mary were in a romantic relationship in their youth, before and during the war. From the letters, it’s clear that he cares deeply about Mary, describing how proud he is that she is a teacher and reminiscing about their first kiss. Like Mary, he loves the written word: he writes eloquently and finds other soldiers’ illiteracy “heartrending.” Throughout the four letters the protagonist reads, John becomes increasingly depressed by the war, until, by the third letter, he tells Mary that if he survives, he “will be a different person.” This letter demonstrates the war’s traumatic effect on John: he describes witnessing dead bodies frozen on the ground and staying with a fellow soldier as the man “chok[ed] and then drown[ed] in his own blood.” Throughout the letter, John references the frozen winter weather, which parallels his own frozen emotions, as he tells Mary that he “has lost all sense of feeling” besides anger. The fourth letter, written from John’s hospital bed, depicts him making sense of this trauma through his religion: he tells Mary, “In some strange way, Christ has spoken to me through the carnage.” As a result, he decides to “sacrifice” their relationship in order to become a Catholic monk named Brother Benignus. John’s experience in World War I therefore demonstrates the trauma that World War I’s “Lost Generation” carried with them for the rest of their lives. His ability to process his trauma through his religion additionally demonstrates how facing grief can help “thaw” emotions and facilitate new growth. After reading this fourth letter, the protagonist realizes that John, whom he saw pictured in Mary’s photo collection, is the same person as Brother Benignus, whose name appeared on many of Mary’s postcards. By telling the protagonist that John was “perhaps” killed in the war, Mary insinuates that the war so changed John’s personality, and their relationship, that John may as well have died. Nevertheless, the two kept a steady correspondence until Brother Benignus’s death, including sharing their love of books, revealing their continued care even after their romance ended.
John/Brother Benignus Quotes in Secrets
The Secrets quotes below are all either spoken by John/Brother Benignus or refer to John/Brother Benignus. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
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Secrets
Quotes
“I thought maybe it was Brother Benignus,” he said. She looked at him not answering.
“Was your friend killed in the war?”
At first she said no, but then she changed her mind.
“Perhaps he was,” she said, then smiled. “You are far too inquisitive. Put it to use and go and see what is for tea.”
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My love, it is thinking of you that keeps me sane. When I get a moment I open my memories of you as if I were reading. Your long dark hair—I always imagine you wearing the blouse with the tiny roses, the white one that opened down the back—your eyes that said so much without words, the way you lowered your head when I said anything that embarrassed you, the clean nape of your neck.
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The only emotion I have experienced lately is one of anger. Sheer white trembling anger. I have no pity or sorrow for the dead and injured. I thank God it is not me but I am enraged that it had to be them. If I live through this experience I will be a different person.
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I have been thinking a lot as I lie here about the war and about myself and about you. I do not know how to say this but I feel deeply that I must do something, must sacrifice something to make up for the horror of the past year. In some strange way Christ has spoken to me through the carnage.
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John/Brother Benignus Quotes in Secrets
The Secrets quotes below are all either spoken by John/Brother Benignus or refer to John/Brother Benignus. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
).
Secrets
Quotes
“I thought maybe it was Brother Benignus,” he said. She looked at him not answering.
“Was your friend killed in the war?”
At first she said no, but then she changed her mind.
“Perhaps he was,” she said, then smiled. “You are far too inquisitive. Put it to use and go and see what is for tea.”
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Explanation and Analysis:
My love, it is thinking of you that keeps me sane. When I get a moment I open my memories of you as if I were reading. Your long dark hair—I always imagine you wearing the blouse with the tiny roses, the white one that opened down the back—your eyes that said so much without words, the way you lowered your head when I said anything that embarrassed you, the clean nape of your neck.
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The only emotion I have experienced lately is one of anger. Sheer white trembling anger. I have no pity or sorrow for the dead and injured. I thank God it is not me but I am enraged that it had to be them. If I live through this experience I will be a different person.
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I have been thinking a lot as I lie here about the war and about myself and about you. I do not know how to say this but I feel deeply that I must do something, must sacrifice something to make up for the horror of the past year. In some strange way Christ has spoken to me through the carnage.
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