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Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in They Both Die at the End, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Mortality, Life, and Meaning
Human Connection and Social Media
Choices and Consequences
Friendship and Chosen Family
Business, Ethics, and Dehumanization
Summary
Analysis
Mateo hasn’t been to the cemetery since he was 12, so he doesn’t know the fastest way to his mom’s grave. As he and Rufus wander, they discuss the afterlife. Rufus says he believes in two afterlives: the first begins when someone receives their call. Deckers only think they’re alive and therefore enter the second afterlife without regrets. Mateo asks if it’d be better if they knew they were dead, but Rufus says that defeats the purpose—if they knew they were dead, it’d be like Make-A-Moment. He says he doesn’t really believe in God, so heaven is just a place for dead people to hang out. Mateo agrees with this and wonders if the rest of Rufus’s theory is correct. Mateo says he hopes reincarnation is real but that his afterlife is like a theater where you can watch your entire life and the lives of others, if they let you.
To a degree, Rufus is right—people treat Deckers differently because they know that the Deckers’ time is limited. However, he also gets at one of the things that the novel suggests is good about the way death works in the world of the novel: people do have the opportunity to say goodbye and reframe who they are for their loved ones. While all of this is correct, Rufus’s ideas on the afterlife also ignore the fact that people could die at any time and should use that fact to make the most of all their days, not just their final one.
Themes
Mateo stops dead. They’re almost to his mom’s grave, and next to it, a man is digging Mateo’s grave. Rufus asks the gravedigger for some privacy and shouts at him when the gravedigger says he’s in a hurry, which makes the gravedigger leave. Dizzy, Mateo reads his mom’s headstone and asks for a minute alone. He knows that Rufus will be there when he turns around. Mateo thinks that everything has come full circle: his mom died the day he was born, and now, he’ll be buried next to her. As a kid, he couldn’t wrap his head around his mom being his mom, but Dad pointed out that Mom couldn’t be there for Mateo because during her complicated birth, she made sure Mateo was okay instead of taking care of herself.
The fact that Mateo’s mom died in childbirth with him forces him to recognize that birth and death are intimately tied to each other. Given the way that Dad describes Mom’s choices in her final hours, it’s easy to see where Mateo got his generous and caring spirit—thanks to Dad’s stories, his mom showed him the importance of looking out for others and making sure they’re safe and comfortable. Trusting Rufus to still be there also speaks to the growing strength of the boys’ friendship.
Themes
Mateo kneels in front of his mother’s headstone and asks if she’s excited to meet him. He says that she’s had lots of time in her theater to watch herself die while a nurse held Mateo. Mateo wonders if the nurse could’ve helped Mom with the bleeding if she hadn’t been holding him. He recounts one of his favorite stories that Dad told about Mom and asks if he’s going to find love in heaven, since he won’t find it here. He asks Mom to look after him. Then, Mateo sits down in his unfinished grave. Rufus sits in it too, and he says that he’s going to be cremated, like his family. He wants the Plutos to scatter his ashes at Althea Park.
Wondering if the nurse could’ve helped Mom is another nod to the idea that all actions have consequences, some of them unforeseen—because the nurse chose (or was told) to hold Mateo, she didn’t have the opportunity to do any number of other things. Mateo also realizes that it’s impossible to predict the outcome of every choice, which might help prevent him from overthinking as he goes through the rest of his day.
Themes
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Mateo and Rufus talk about their different experiences in Althea Park: it’s where Dad taught Mateo about clouds, and it’s where Rufus kissed a girl. Mateo marvels that he can chat and not think about his death. He asks if Rufus believes in fate. Rufus doesn’t and insists that their meeting isn’t special—they both just downloaded an app. Mateo points out that their families and friends are out of commission today, and that’s the only reason they ended up on Last Friend. It has to be fate. It starts to pour down rain as Rufus helps Mateo out of his grave. Mateo kisses his mother’s headstone and notices Rufus taking a photo. Mateo looks at his placeholder headstone and thinks that soon, it’ll say, “He Lived for Everyone,” and it will be true.
Even if Rufus is right that the boys just happened to downloaded the same app, he’s missing critical elements of the way they met. Most importantly, both boys reached out because they were lonely. Though it’s debatable whether this has to do with fate or not, Mateo makes the case that in order to connect with anyone, people must be willing to put themselves out into the world.
Themes
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