Previous
Part 1: Lispenard Street: Chapter 2
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in A Little Life, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Trauma
Identity
Success and Happiness
Friendship and Human Connection
Pain and Suffering
Summary
Analysis
Over the Christmas holiday, JB decides that Willem and Jude should host a New Year’s Eve party. They always spend Christmas together, and four years ago, they added a Thanksgiving celebration at Jude’s friends Harold and Julia’s house in Cambridge. New Years, though, has never had an assigned host. Last year was the first post-college New Year’s they spent apart, and everyone hated it.
By this point, readers know JB well enough to see his demand that Willem and Jude go through the effort of throwing a party is characteristic of his rude, un-self-conscious personality. That characters have all these traditions of travelling to different locations to celebrate the holidays emphasizes the importance of companionship and community. It also further develops houses, apartments, and other dwelling places as symbols of community and togetherness.
Themes
Willem returns home the night before the party and smells the rich scent of cheese and butter and dough. He feels sad looking at all the exquisite shortbreads and pastries Jude has labored over. He knows their guests will knock them back with swigs of beer, not appreciating Jude’s hard work. When Willem retires to the bedroom, Jude is there, already sleeping.
Jude’s apparent knack for baking adds another layer of mystery to this character the reader still knows practically nothing about. But the care Jude takes in preparing for the party shows that he cares about impressing or taking care of others.
Themes
No sooner has Willem fallen asleep than he wakes up to Jude calling his name. “Willem, I’m sorry,” Jude says. Then he calmly explains that he accidentally cut himself, and he asks Willem to take him to Andy’s. Willem is still half asleep, but he agrees. They walk outside and Willem heads toward the subway. But Jude explains that they’ll probably need a cab. Willem asks about the towel Jude has wrapped around his arm, but Jude only shrugs. Willem is concerned when he notices that Jude’s lips have grown pale.
If Jude really has had an accident, it’s totally unnecessary for him to apologize to Willem—it was just that, an accident. Also, he and Willem are friends, and friends help each other out. So there seems to be something else going on here. Jude’s instinct to apologize also gives more insight into his personality: he seems self-conscious about putting people out or asking too much of others.
Themes
They reach Andy’s office on Seventy-eighth and Park. Andy is eight years older than Willem and Willem has known him since his sophomore year, when Jude had a pain episode so sustained that he’d decided to take Jude to the university-affiliated hospital. Andy was the resident on call. He’s been the only doctor Jude has agreed to see. Though Andy is an orthopedic surgeon, he treats Jude for all kinds of maladies.
That Jude has known his doctor for years—and is on a first-name basis with him—shows how serious and chronic his medical condition is. Also curious is the fact that Jude won’t see any doctor besides Andy—perhaps he has reasons not to trust or feel comfortable with others. Readers already know that Jude is reserved and secretive around the people he’s closest to, so it would make sense that he’d be equally as withholding around his doctors.
Themes
Get the entire A Little Life LitChart as a printable PDF.
Once inside, Willem can see that blood has soaked through Jude’s shirt and through the towel. “I’m sorry,” Jude says to Andy, who unwraps the towel to reveal—to Willem’s horror—a gaping wound in Jude’s arm that looks like a mouth “vomiting blood from it.” Willem sits in the waiting room while Andy tends to Jude. After an hour or so, Andy calls Willem’s name, and Willem heads to the examination room. Blood is everywhere.
Again, Jude apologizes to Andy, his doctor—a friend he’s known for nearly a decade and, not to mention, whose job it is to help him. So it’s becoming clearer that Jude is very uncomfortable asking others for help, and that he maybe even thinks he doesn’t deserve others’ help or kindness. The gaping wound is another shocking detail to emerge in this scene, and the novel reveals it with graphic detail that holds nothing back. It’s a curious rhetorical decision, and one that reinforces the novel’s focus on exploring pain and suffering.
Themes
Andy tells Willem he can take Jude home now, but he’s clearly angry. He orders Jude to leave the room, and Jude exits obediently. Then, Andy turns to Willem and asks if Jude has seemed depressed lately, which catches Willem by surprise. He thinks Jude’s been normal; wouldn’t he have noticed if Jude wasn’t normal? Andy tells Willem that Jude cuts himself, which shocks Willem. Andy makes Willem promise to call him if Jude starts acting strangely in the future, and Willem agrees.
Andy’s anger is really just concern. Given the amount of blood in the examination room, it’s clear that Jude—whether intentionally or by accident—injured himself very badly, and Willem obviously hasn’t known to look out for Jude’s self-harm. The self-harm further builds tension around the mysterious Jude. He’s clearly suffering in some way if he feels he needs to harm himself, but why he feels this way, and if there’s some circumstantial element that set him off this time, remains unknown at this point.
Themes
Willem and Jude take a cab back to Lispenard Street. When they arrive, Willem can see that Jude is about to clean up the bathroom. Willem orders Jude to go to bed, and for once, Jude obeys. He falls asleep instantly. Willem sits on his bed and stares at Jude. He calls out to him. When Jude doesn’t stir, Willem nudges him. Then he pushes up one of Jude’s sleeves to reveal rows of white scars, thick and raised, going all up his arm. Jude’s other arm is bandaged, but Willem knows he’ll find more scars there, too.
Jude’s instinct to clean the bathroom the minute he gets home sheds more light on his personality. He’s just been through a majorly traumatic incident, and his primary focus is to erase all evidence of the event. Symbolically, this reflects how Jude deals with his inner suffering, perhaps: he erases all evidence of it, maybe out of shame—and he doesn’t confront it or talk about it with anyone.
Themes
A while back, Malcolm had asked if the others noticed that Jude always wore long sleeves. Willem had, of course, but he forbade himself from wondering why. Malcolm explained that one of Flora’s friends would wear long sleeves all the time because she used to cut herself. Willem was quiet. He knew they all had an unspoken agreement that he’d be the friend responsible for Jude, so it was clear that Malcolm’s observation was his way of telling Willem be alert.
This memory helps explain why Willem, in the earlier scene at Lispenard Street, called himself a coward: he knows he should be on high alert about Jude’s self-harm, yet he can’t bring himself to deal with the social anxiety of bringing up a topic Jude is clearly too upset (or maybe even ashamed) to talk about. It’s clear that Flora’s friend and Jude do all they can to hide their self-harm from others, maybe because of the social stigma that still surrounds mental illness.
Themes
Willem avoided Jude for the next few days. Then one day, when Malcolm and JB left to pick up some lobsters for dinner, Willem asked Jude if he’d like to borrow one of Willem’s shirts since it was so hot out. Jude smiled “faintly, warningly,” at Willem and told him that it would be cold soon. Willem tried again, but Jude grew angry and refused to answer any of Willem’s questions. Jude started to ask a question, but Malcolm and JB returned before he could finish. Willem knew their return was a fortunate thing; he was sure that Jude was about to ask, “Why are you asking me this,” since Willem has always made a point of not prying into Jude’s secrets.
Willem tries to indirectly bring up the subject of Jude’s cutting here, attempting to get Jude to confess to his self-harm on his own by nagging him about his long-sleeved shirt. Willem means well here—he wants Jude to open up on his own, rather than have Willem accuse him of something—but his approach comes off as a bit passive-aggressive and manipulative, even. Still, Willem isn’t a medical professional, so it’s difficult for him to know how to approach a problem as serious as the one he suspects that Jude is dealing with.
Themes
Four years ago, Willem and JB were sharing an apartment as they attended graduate school. Jude had stayed behind in Boston for law school, but he came to New York to visit. One day, Willem noticed that the bathroom door was locked and frantically started pounding on it. Jude opened the door and asked, annoyed, “What, Willem?” Willem knew something was wrong—the bathroom smelled “tannic”—but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. And he still can’t.
Willem’s recollections show that there were countless clues that Jude habitually hurt himself. Still, it’s hard to confront somebody about something they clearly have trouble talking about and accepting in themself. Willem must grapple with two highly undesirable options: betray Jude’s trust by not respecting his privacy, or let it go and risk Jude really hurting himself someday—and, in the novel’s present, the latter has just come true.
Themes
Back in the present, as he observes Jude, Willem wonders if tonight would have happened if he’d said or done something all those times in the past. He resolves to say something this time. The next morning, Willem wakes up and finds Jude in the kitchen, calmly molding pastries. Willem asks what Jude’s doing, and Jude replies, calmly, that he’s redoing the gougères. Willem says nobody will know the difference, then he asks Jude what he was doing yesterday. Jude quietly apologizes and pleads with Willem not to be mad at him.
Willem feels responsible for Jude’s supposed “accident.” But this position assumes that Willem’s interference would have cured Jude of his self-harm—or at least, led Jude to cut himself less frequently. It’s understandable for Willem to feel guilt, but ultimately, Jude’s mental wellness is likely more deep-seated and complex than Willem thinks. Further, it’s impossible to say whether Willem’s interference on its own would have been enough to alleviate Jude’s pain enough to get him to stop his self-harm.
Themes
Years later, Willem will wonder how things would have been if he’d asked Jude, point blank, “Jude, are you trying to kill yourself?” Would it have helped Jude to heal? But today, Willem doesn’t ask Jude anything. Instead, he assures Jude that he’s not mad, but he says they have to cancel the party. When Jude insists that they still hold the party, Willem gives in to him, which is what he always does.
Again, Willem could have been more direct in his efforts to confront Jude about his self-harm. But it’s not fair for him to see Jude’s episode as the direct result of Willem’s failure to confront him the right way. In the end, Jude’s mental wellness is far more complicated than this.
Themes
Malcolm and JB show up at eight, and the kitchen fills with pastry smells as though Jude’s “accident” never happened. Willem isn’t in the mood to socialize, but he sulkily attends the party. JB makes the four of them go to the roof for some fresh air and a smoke, though it’s horribly cold outside. The cold air and glimmering lights of the city below them reminds Willem of the drives back from Hemming’s hospital bed, and he calls to the others to go back inside. But when Willem tries to open the door that leads to the stairwell, he finds that it’s locked. Nobody has a phone, and Jude doesn’t have his key. Instantly, Willem blames Jude for their current predicament, though he knows this is unfair.
The mere air temperature reminds Willem of watching Hemming die—and of being unable to help him or alleviate his suffering. This shows how haunted Willem is by what Willem perceives of as a personal failure on his part. Thus far, the novel has focused on Jude as the character haunted by a traumatic past, but readers see how Willem, too, can’t escape his own personal demons.
Themes
Jude, Malcolm, JB, and Willem call and scream for help, but nobody hears them. Then Jude has an idea: his friends can lower him down to the fire escape, and he can break in through the bedroom window. The idea is too stupid for Willem to respond to it, but JB announces that it’s a great idea. Willem tries to convince Jude to let him do it, but the locking mechanism on the doors is broken, and only Jude knows how to open them. Jude insists that he be the one they lower to the window.
Jude’s idea would be extremely dangerous under normal circumstances, but Willem is especially cautious in light of Jude’s accident last night—could Jude be using the fire escape plan as a front to actually throw himself from the roof? And, in expressing heightened concern, Willem is also showing that he’s recommitted himself to his role of being Jude’s keeper.
Themes
JB, Malcolm, and Willem lower Jude as far as they can, and then Jude pushes himself off the ledge. They hear a loud thud, and then Jude calls out to them that he’s okay—he’s landed on the fire escape. Willem orders the others to lower him, too, and they do. Willem drops down to the fire escape, and the fall is harder and scarier than he’d thought. Willem and Jude navigate through the window together. When at least they make it inside, the warmth is intoxicating. Then Willem looks down at Jude’s bandage and sees that it’s bloodstained. Jude insists that Willem leave to retrieve the others. Willem wants to cry and tries to stay with Jude, but Jude insists that Willem leave. Willem obeys.
When Willem leaves Jude to get the others, it reflects his acceptance that there are limitations to how much he can help Jude. At the end of the day, Willem can’t force the issue, and Jude’s struggles might be too severe for Willem—or anyone, even—to heal. And this is kind of what Jude is implicitly telling Willem in this moment, when he gives Willem permission to leave. He’s saying that it’s not Willem’s responsibility to fix him.
Themes
