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Chapter Nine
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Before We Were Free, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Coming of Age and Political Consciousness
Adulthood, Childhood, and Fear
Family and Politics
Storytelling and Trauma
Summary
Analysis
On Saturday, June 3, Anita writes that Mami gave her permission to write in her diary as much as she wants. Maybe her account will help someone else. A few days later, Anita explains that she and Mami are staying in the Mancinis’ walk-in closet. There’s not a lot of privacy—Mrs. Mancini woke them up the other night to tell them to stop snoring. On Tuesday, Anita says that the Mancinis are set up well to house fugitives. They always lock their bedroom door and never let the help clean in there. According to Mr. Mancini, the SIM are imprisoning whole towns. Trujillo Junior wants to punish everyone involved in the assassination, but people are calling the assassination an ajusticiámiento, which means “bringing to justice.” This makes Anita feel better, since Papi and Tío Toni were carrying out justice, not just murdering someone.
From the Mancinis’ closet, Anita begins her process of healing. Now that she can write freely, there’s hope that she’ll be able to make sense of what’s happening and figure out how she feels about all of it. This is most evident in her writing about how people are calling the assassination an ajusticiámiento. Using this word recasts the assassination into something righteous and positive—it’s how the country collectively gets justice for what they’ve experienced under Trujillo. It also helps Anita come to terms with Papi’s role in the assassination, since it implies that Papi did a good thing.
Themes
On June 7, a rainy Wednesday, Anita writes that she and Mami have to stay in the closet when the Mancinis go out. They have to use a chamber pot at those times. Now, the Mancinis insist that Anita call them Tío Pepe and Tía Mari. Pepe and Mari are the only ones who know about Anita and Mami, aside from their two Yorkshire terriers. It’s weird for Anita to be in the same house as Oscar, and she wonders if the Mancinis notice her blushing whenever they talk about him. If the SIM come to the house, Anita and Mami plan to sneak into the bathroom and hide in two deep, narrow closets.
Even though Anita is certainly stressed about her life and her future, it’s telling that she’s still blushing at any mention of Oscar. With this, the novel makes it clear that life goes on, even in difficult times. People still fall in love in all sorts of circumstances. Though her interest in Oscar is a mark of her maturity, her question of whether the Mancinis notice her blush shows how young she still is; her crush is so obvious to her that she believes it must be obvious to others, too, even when everyone else is so clearly preoccupied with huge issues.
Themes
The next day, Anita writes that Tía Mari turned on Radio Caribe while Tío Pepe turned on Radio Swan. Everyone gathered around the radio playing Swan to listen to the real news. According to Caribe, everything is fine. According to Swan, there are groups in the country investigating human rights abuses. The stations agree that the situation is dire. Trujillo Junior is arresting and killing people. Anita doesn’t want to listen, so she writes in her diary to give herself something else to focus on. Mami thinks this is rude, but Tía Mari notes that Anita is talking more now that she’s writing. Anita feels like she’s slowly remembering her words.
Even though Anita can barely bring herself to listen to the two radio stations, they still offer her an important lesson in thinking critically. By comparing what Caribe and Swan report, Anita can figure out how the government is twisting facts to manipulate the narrative and thereby control the people. Similarly, it’s telling that both stations agree that the situation is a bloodbath. This fact seems inarguable, even to a regime that not that long ago wanted to look fair and good. That Anita starts talking more now that she can write is important—it shows that writing gives her confidence and clarity in who she is, and that she’s beginning to feel safe again. For a long time, talking made her feel vulnerable because she worried about saying the wrong thing. Now, she feels comfortable saying slightly more.
Themes
On Friday, June 9, Anita learns that Mr. Washburn is back in Washington. He’s trying to get Papi and Tío Toni on a list of interviewed prisoners, since that makes it harder for the SIM to kill them. Anita tries to pray with Mami and Tía Mari, but she can’t remember the words. The next day, Mari gives Anita a tiny flashlight, since the electricity goes out all the time. Anita only knows what time it is because a siren sounds at noon and at six in the evening to announce curfew. Living so close to the Mancinis, Anita observes their private habits. She wonders if they notice that she touches the spot where Oscar kissed her when she’s afraid.
When Anita writes about the list, the novel touches on another good use for writing: literally saving lives. Getting Papi and Tío Toni’s name on the list will make them people that international organizations can track, which makes it a much bigger deal if the Dominican authorities try to kill them. When Anita takes notice of the Mancinis’ private habits, it shows that she’s starting to think of other people as having rich internal lives—a mark of her maturity. Nonetheless, she still has a tendency towards self-centered magical thinking; there’s no way anyone could know that she sometimes touches the spot where Oscar kissed her, because she never told anyone about it.
Themes
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It’s Anita’s second Sunday in hiding. Sundays are hard, since they used to have big family gatherings on Sundays. Earlier, Anita vowed to stop asking about Papi and Tío Toni. But then she broke down and asked. Mami told her that they’re alive and started to cry. Tía Mari took Mami to the bathroom while Tío Pepe sat with Anita. He encouraged her to think positively. Anita tried it and imagined walking between Papi and Tío Toni. Then, she wished for their freedom so they could be together as a family.
Without Papi around, Tío Pepe steps into a paternal role for Anita. By encouraging her to think positively, he helps her develop new coping skills, despite the difficult situation. In addition to recording her thoughts so she can start to organize them, Anita can also try to replace her negative thoughts with positive ones in her mind. Nonetheless, it’s clear from all the adults’ reactions that Papi and Toni are in grave danger and nobody is confident that they will be okay.
Themes
The next day, Anita writes that she sometimes thinks of her life as a movie—it makes it easier to put up with Mami’s nerves. Every night, Anita digs out her flashlight and diary, rolls her eyes when Mami snaps that the Mancinis are asleep, and then writes on the toilet. Then, Anita says she wants to record everything that happened the night they left the compound. Tío Pepe covered Mami and Anita in sacks and, fortunately, no one stopped the car. Mundín was at the Italian embassy. They decided that Mundín would stay there, where the SIM can’t touch him, while Mami and Anita would live with the Mancinis. Anita was thrilled to discover her diary in her bag. As soon as there’s a way out, everyone will leave the country.
While Anita rolls her eyes at Mami’s nerves, it’s understandable that Mami is beside herself with worry and fear. In addition to fearing for her husband, Mami may also worry about offending the Mancinis—which is probably why she discourages Anita from writing in the middle of the night. By telling the story of leaving the compound with the Mancinis, Anita both records the story for herself so she’ll always remember it and gets to give voice to how frightened she was. It’s telling that she was so happy to find her diary—her diary gives her something to hope for. The suggestion that everyone will leave the country when they can makes clear that the plan didn’t really work. Papi dreamed of a Dominican Republic that is safe and free for everyone, which is why he wanted to stay instead of fleeing to the United States. Now it’s not even safe for his own family to stay.
Themes
On Tuesday, June 13, Anita learns that the compound is now a SIM interrogation center. Chucha, however, is fine—she has a job at Wimpy’s, which she always refused to enter. The next day, Anita explains how she and Mami get food. Breakfast and lunch aren’t problems, since the Mancinis normally eat breakfast in their room and they have the excuse of wanting to listen to the news at lunchtime. Dinner is the only challenge, but Tía Mari hides a plastic bag on her lap and slips food into it.
The fact that the SIM are now using the compound to interrogate people is certainly difficult for Anita to swallow. The compound is the center of her family’s existence and a connection between generations—now it’s being used to torture people and advance political goals that her family explicitly opposes. But this also shows her once again that the political is personal—she cannot separate her personal life from the fate of the country. Certainly, Papi believes this too or else he wouldn’t have risked his life for his country.
Themes
Thursday marks two weeks of hiding. Earlier, Anita was writing when she heard Oscar’s little sisters playing outside. Anita was envious and burst into tears. Mami told Anita she was too big to cry, but Tía Mari told Anita to keep writing and stay strong. The following day, Anita writes that she and Mami get notes from Mundín. He’s fine, but he wants to know if María de los Santos has a boyfriend. Anita can’t believe Mundín is thinking about girls—but to be fair, she thinks about Oscar a lot. The next day, Anita writes down what happened when she asked the Mancinis if María had a boyfriend. Tía Mari said that María always has a boyfriend, while Tío Pepe was shocked his daughter was seeing boys at all. It turned into a big argument.
While she lives with the Mancinis, Anita essentially has two mothers to look after her. This means that at times when Mami falls short and asks too much of Anita, Tía Mari can step in and assure Anita that things are going to be fine and that her behavior and feelings are normal. Getting Mundín’s note about María de los Santos drives home again that life and love go on in all manner of circumstances. Just because Mundín is scared for his life doesn’t mean that he can’t still have a crush—and the same goes for Anita, who’s still thinking often about Oscar.
Themes
On Sunday, Anita has an okay day. Tía Mari threw a barbecue for the canasta group, thinking that it would be good for Mami to observe her friends. Mami explained to Anita that her friends were involved in the plot, but they don’t have to go into hiding because they weren’t as involved. El Jefe’s body, after all, was in Papi’s Chevy. Anita thinks it was dumb to leave the body lying around, but Mami explained that Pupo was supposed to come see the body and then announce the revolution. She and Anita took turns watching out the tiny bathroom window. Anita could see Oscar reading and decided she’d like to read too. She asked Tía Mari to get her a book.
Mami and Anita’s relationship seems to be changing during their time in hiding. Given Mami’s earlier behavior, it seems of character for her to tell Anita so openly what was supposed to happen with Pupo and El Jefe’s body. This could indicate that the trauma of the situation is bringing them closer together and also that Mami sees Anita as mature enough to know the unvarnished truth. Anita’s desire to read, meanwhile, helps her feel closer to Oscar; it seems like she wants to impress him.
Themes
On Monday, Tía Mari brings Anita a book about the life of the Virgin Mary. It isn’t very interesting, so Anita plays with her hair in the mirror and wonders if Oscar would appreciate a ponytail. The next day, Anita tells Tío Pepe about wanting to read. According to him, lots of famous people have read and written amazing stuff in prison. The important thing, according to Pepe, is to keep a schedule. Anita writes her schedule down. She wakes up, does her exercises, and showers. During breakfast she tries to learn something from Pepe. She spends her day reading, trying to be nice to Mami, and writing in her diary. Dinner is the best meal of the day. Anita writes in the evenings and thinks of Papi and Tío Toni.
Anita may be in hiding to save her life, but this doesn’t mean that her thoughts and desires change all that much. She still dreams about Oscar—and though she scorned Lucinda for being such a stereotypical teenager not that long ago, Anita now does the same primping in the bathroom that Lucinda once did. With this, Anita begins to bridge the gap between being a child and being an adult—and in the process, she starts to look more like a teenager. When Pepe suggests that many imprisoned people have written amazing things, he implicitly frames Anita as being a political prisoner herself—and he suggests that she has an important story to tell.
Themes
Anita doesn’t write for nine days. When she picks her diary up again, she explains what happened. After writing late at night, Anita heard someone outside and woke up Mami, who woke up the Mancinis. The Mancinis let the dogs out and Anita heard knocks at the door and two gunshots. Mami and Anita went into the closets. After a while, Tío Pepe came back. The SIM agents came to investigate “intruders,” but one of the agents recognized Tío Pepe and declined to search the house. The next morning, they found the dogs dead. Anita felt awful, especially since she left her diary out while she hid. She couldn’t write for the shame—but then she realized that she can’t let the SIM take writing away from her.
Though Anita and the Mancinis don’t seem to have all the information, it seems likely that the SIM came to the Mancinis’ house in hopes of searching it (using made-up “intruders” as a pretext). This suggests that the Mancinis may be in more danger than they thought. For Anita, this experience drives home just how at risk her life is right now. But even if she has to confront the possibility of arrest or death, Anita understands that she can’t let the SIM sap all of her joy. She must keep writing if she wants to make it through.
Themes
On July 1, Anita writes two resolutions: to write every day and to keep her diary hidden. During the day, it lives in Tía Mari’s fur coat. When Anita writes, she feels like she’s flying. The next day, Anita feels sad. It’s been more than a month since she saw Papi. The following day, Mami and Anita have a scare. Oscar’s little sisters come into the bedroom—which isn’t locked—to play in Tía Mari’s makeup. Then, they decide to check out “Mami’s bear,” which is Mari’s fur coat. Anita and Mami back into the clothes, leaving their game of Concentration spread out on the floor. Then Oscar shows up and sends the girls away, but he steps into the closet. When he notices something, he backs out. Later, Anita discovers that Oscar turned over the queen of hearts.
The one positive consequence of the close call with the SIM is that Anita now understands just how important it is to stay hidden. Unfortunately, the close call with Oscar’s little sisters shows that everyone makes mistakes sometimes. But Oscar himself demonstrates his maturity by getting out of the closet as soon as he realizes that someone is hiding there. Like Anita, he’s coming of age—and becoming interested in romance, as evidenced by turning over the queen of hearts for Anita. With this, he can show her that he knows what she’s going through and he cares for her without scaring her.
Themes
Early on Tuesday morning, Anita hears pebbles hitting the bathroom window. When she looks out, she sees Oscar down there. Later, she writes that she tossed the queen of hearts out the window. The next afternoon, Anita details what she learned about Wimpy’s Independence Day barbecue. Chucha was there, and she spoke a lot with Oscar. Anita wonders if they were talking about her. After dinner the next evening, Tía Mari brings Anita The Arabian Nights. Oscar helped her pick it out—and inside, Anita finds the queen of hearts. On Friday, Anita writes that having a secret code with Oscar makes her happier. She now spends more time in the bathroom, playing with her hair.
As Anita turns more of her attention toward Oscar and romance, she becomes less and less frightened of what might happen to her. In this sense, puberty—and the interest in romance that comes with it—doesn’t have to only be a source of misery, as it was when Anita started her period. Rather, some elements of puberty can provide a much-needed escape from this terrifying situation. Hearing that Oscar spoke with Chucha can’t hurt, either. It reminds Anita that she has family and friends everywhere. And it’s also noteworthy that Oscar and Anita’s skill at secrecy has now become a positive thing—they’ve been around secret codes and poignant silences for so long that they know implicitly how to communicate with one another. These kinds of secrets and codes aren’t only traumatic now—they can also be positive.
Themes
On Saturday, Anita wonders whether something like The Arabian Nights can happen in real life. She wonders whether, if El Jefe had kidnapped her, she would’ve been able to change his heart by telling him stories. According to Tío Pepe, this is the question that people like “Knee-chi” and “Hide-digger” tried to answer. The next afternoon, Anita writes about her day. The Mancinis went to the beach and closed up the house. While they were gone, Mami did Anita’s hair and told Anita she was prettier than Audrey Hepburn. Later that evening, Tía Mari brought Mami and Anita seashells. When Anita remembered how Chucha always said that girls with seashells die old maids, she gave the shell back to Mari. Tío Pepe also shared that Mundín is going to be evacuated.
In these entries, Anita’s youth seems more obvious, even as she’s becoming more of a teenager. The people Tío Pepe mentions are the philosophers Friedrich Nietzsche and Martin Heidegger who were interested in the relationship between language and truth and the ways in which language shapes human ideas of reality. Even though Anita doesn’t know who these philosophers are or why they’re important, the fact that Tío Pepe mentions them shows that he’s treating her like an adult. It’s also a clue to why Oscar always seemed so inquisitive and well-informed; he clearly comes from a family of intellectuals.
Themes
Anita doesn’t write on Tuesday. Instead, Mami tells her stories about her own childhood and her big quinceañera party. Then, Mami laughs and recalls how, when Anita was little, she became obsessed with El Jefe’s daughter, whom he made a queen. For her birthday, Papi made Anita a marshmallow crown that melted into her hair. This makes Anita think of her daydream about Papi and Tío Toni, so she reaches out for Mami’s hand. The next day, Anita discovers that Papi and Tío Toni didn’t make it onto the public prisoners’ list. This is bad. On the radio, Anita heard prisoners’ stories of their torture. Some had their fingernails pulled out, while one was fed a steak that he learned later was the flesh of his son. After hearing that, Anita vomited.
Listening to Mami’s stories about the good times in the past help both Anita and Mami begin to heal. It’s important to keep in mind that this is a traumatic experience for Mami too—and she, like Anita, will only recover as she finds ways to tell her story. At this point, telling happy stories of the past gives her the opportunity to focus on things she knows were happy rather than the uncertain future. What Anita hears about the torture methods in the prisons drives home how cruel Trujillo’s regime is. With this, Anita knows for sure that Trujillo was a bad person and that Papi did the right thing—although since Papi’s name isn’t public, Anita knows it’s possible that he could be disappeared by the regime.
Themes
The following evening, Anita writes about being surprised. Earlier, the maid knocked and said the Mancinis had visitors: the ambassador and a lady. This was unexpected, so Mami and Anita hid. After a while, Tía Mari called them out. There was a blond girl with a sour face on the bed—it was Mundín in disguise. He was on the way to being evacuated on an Italian cruise ship. Everyone cried, even Mundín.
Making the effort for Mami and Anita to see Mundín before he leaves gives the impression that there’s a possibility they might not see him again. Though Anita doesn’t acknowledge this outright, this shows that, even now, Anita’s family prioritizes each other over everything else. It also shows how much the Mancinis are willing to risk to help them.
Themes
On July 15, Anita shares Mami’s story of how she and Papi got involved in the resistance movement. When Papi got back home after studying in the U.S., he didn’t care much about politics. He was busy raising his family. But his brothers got involved and people started to disappear. Then, they heard about the Butterflies, who organized the movement. Papi watched his brothers join but he was afraid to risk the lives of his family members. The SIM found out about the Butterflies and murdered them. This is why Mamita, Papito, and Anita’s uncles left when they could. Then, Mami and Papi took over. Anita can’t believe that Mami and her bad nerves were involved. The movement spread, but then, they couldn’t find Pupo on the night of the ajusticiamento.
Here, Mami continues the process of telling Anita her story—but now she moves on to more difficult stories, rather than simply telling nice stories from the past. In addition, by telling Papi’s story, Mami ensures that the story will live on. But this might be an implicit acknowledgement that Mami doesn’t expect Papi to come home and tell the story himself. This is also one of the first times that Anita confronts the possibility that Mami has been just as major of a player in the resistance as Papi. In hearing Mami’s story, Anita has to see that she is a fully-fledged human being in her own right. This requires Anita to look at Mami through adult eyes.
Themes
On Monday night, as Anita and Mami brush their teeth with Tía Mari, Mari says she ran into Chucha at Wimpy’s earlier. Chucha asked her to pass on a message: that Anita needs to “get ready to use [her] wings again.” She gave Mari a holy card of San Miguel to give to Anita. Anita is excited to maybe be free soon, but she’s afraid. She doesn’t want to be free without Papi and Tío Toni. The next day, Anita writes that people are hopeful. There will be a rally tomorrow. On Wednesday, the day of the rally, Anita writes that she can hear people shouting for liberty. Earlier, Tío Pepe said there’s a small chance that Anita and Mami will be able to escape on an American flight. Anita is terrified to leave. She wonders what it’s like to be free.
In Anita’s mind, freedom is tied up closely with Papi and Tío Toni. It seems like she shouldn’t have the opportunity to be free herself if her father and uncle can’t join her and be free too. This illustrates how important family is to Anita—as she grows up, she comes to see that her parents were right to do everything they could to support and protect their family. And again, hearing from Chucha shows Anita that there will always be someone in the Dominican Republic who loves her and will look out for her. Her family is bigger than she thinks it is. It’s also significant that Chucha, throughout the novel, seems to be the adult most willing to clue Anita into what’s going on, even if she does so in riddles or code. Chucha sends only one message here, so she must find this one important, and it’s a message meant to prepare Anita for what is to come. Clearly, she sees value in informing Anita of coming change, rather than keeping her in the dark.
Themes
On Thursday, Anita writes that she and Oscar communicate through books. He picks out the books for her and passes them through Tía Mari. As they pass the books back and forth, they also pass the queen of hearts. The next day, Anita can hear another rally outside. The SIM are arresting people, and Tía Mari sent Oscar and the girls away for safety since a few bullets hit the house. Anita begins her entry on Sunday. It’s a boring day, since the Mancinis are at the coast. Suddenly, Anita’s writing changes. She’s writing from her hiding spot. She heard a roar in the backyard and there are people in the house. Anita wants to leave a record, just in case.
It seems like things are getting more fraught out on the streets. This could spell trouble for Anita or for Papi and Tío Toni. Fortunately, Anita has her budding romance with Oscar to get her through. Passing books and the queen of hearts gives her something to focus on other than the protests taking place out on the streets. When Anita’s writing changes, it suggests that she’s going to experience more trauma. Now, though, she knows how important it is to write, even if she won’t live to read it.
Themes
