Childhood and Adulthood Theme Analysis

Since Larry is a child during the events of “My Oedipus Complex,” he naturally has a childish perspective: he can be immature, self-centered, silly, and naïve. Throughout the story, this youthful perspective puts him at odds with his adult parents, and their success at parenting Larry depends on their ability to understand him on his own terms. While Larry’s mother tries hard to understand Larry’s perspective and meet him where he is, Larry’s father seems unable to understand his young son’s needs, beliefs, and behavior, which leads to bitter conflict. Larry’s relationship with his parents suggests the importance of understanding children’s perspectives and meeting them where they are—something that the story’s narration also emphasizes. Larry narrates the story of his childhood from the perspective of adulthood, but he never imposes his adult understanding or judgment onto the events of the story—he merely communicates how he felt as a child. By portraying childhood Larry as a smart, funny, and even dignified person, “My Oedipus Complex” shows the value of respecting children and taking them on their own terms.

Larry’s father has difficulty respecting his young son and seeing the world from his perspective, which causes troubles in their home. When Larry’s father returns from World War I, he views his return as a restoration of the family’s previous way of life. He replaces his uniform with a suit, takes back his side of the bed, and begins to reconnect with his wife. What Larry’s father fails to understand is that for Larry, his return is not a restoration, but a disruption. For the first five years of his life, Larry rarely saw his father, and was essentially raised by a single mother. Accustomed to having his mother’s complete devotion, Larry dislikes the idea of sharing her with someone else, let alone someone he does not really know. Since Larry’s father doesn’t bother to understand his son’s perspective, the two lock horns throughout the story. This is particularly bad in their conflict over the bed. While Larry’s father was away, cuddling with his mother in the big bed was perhaps the most treasured part of his daily routine. Not stopping to consider this, Larry’s father shouts at Larry for climbing into the bed and disrupting his sleep and then spanks his son, damaging the family dynamic. Even when Larry’s father spends one-on-one time with his son, it is to satisfy his wife’s request. While on a walk through town, he is unable to indulge Larry’s interests, and he talks to men his own age instead of his young son. When Larry makes a point of sulking and tugging on his father’s pants for attention, his father responds with “amiable inattention” or “a grin of amusement” rather than acknowledging why his son feels the need to act out. 

Unlike her husband, Larry’s mother tries to listen to her son and take his feelings into consideration, which allows her to disperse tension in the house. Adult Larry recalls her with affection, suggesting that he appreciates her efforts to understand him. The story makes clear, however, that for an adult to understand a child takes intention and effort. While her husband is at war, Larry’s mother makes her bed available to Larry and spends hours and hours each day listening to him talk about his interests and plans. Even when Larry’s father returns and Larry’s presence in the bed threatens to wake him, Larry’s mother reaches out to feel for her son and makes space for him. At one point, Larry’s mother even defends Larry to her husband, begging him to understand Larry’s behavior by explaining, “Don’t you see the child isn’t used to you?” Larry’s mother sympathizes with Larry’s struggle to adapt to his father’s homecoming, which she also demonstrates by quietly taking Larry’s juvenile actions in stride, like when he drinks all her tea or proclaims his plans to marry her. Furthermore, in contrast to Larry’s father ignoring or laughing at his son’s actions, Larry’s mother tries to respect Larry and make him feel included by explaining adult issues. For instance, when Larry asks if God would send his father back to the war, Larry’s mother stops to think before responding. Rather than yelling at Larry for wanting his father sent away, she tells Larry that the war is over and that God wouldn’t want another one.

By portraying Larry’s mother as a more sympathetic figure than his father, O’Connor implicitly advocates for respecting and understanding children, and the story’s narration itself underscores the importance of listening to childhood perspectives. After all, while the story’s narrator is technically Larry when he’s grown up, Larry recalls his childhood without imposing his adult perspective. Throughout the story, adult Larry has plenty of opportunities to criticize and make fun of child Larry, but he never does. When Larry disagrees with his mother about having a baby, for instance, he buys his mother’s fib that babies are obtained through being bought for “seventeen and six.” Rather than reflecting on his gullibility, adult Larry follows child Larry’s thought process, calling his mother “simple” for not settling for a more affordable baby. Furthermore, child Larry fails to see the connection between baby making and the fact that his parents share a bed. When narrating this, adult Larry doesn’t make fun of his youthful confusion, but rather leans into it, telling the reader of how he tried to spy on his parents’ “unhealthy habit of sleeping together” but didn’t find anything suspicious that he could see. Cementing his lack of knowledge on the subject, Larry informs his parents that he plans to not only marry his mother, but also have “lots and lots of babies” with her. At no point does adult Larry pause his storytelling to snicker at or condemn this. Instead, he speaks from the perspective of child Larry, who is very pleased that his mother seems to respect what he has said.

By consistently understanding and respecting childhood Larry’s perspective, adult Larry depicts the perspectives of children as interesting, dynamic, and worthwhile. Implicitly, this instructs readers to take children seriously and try to understand them, rather than imposing their own views and judgments onto children. This includes actions that aren’t innocent. In retaliation to his father’s threats to spank him, for instance, Larry boldly instructs his father to “smack his own” bottom. Larry is also guilty of pinching baby Sonny to prevent him from falling asleep at times he finds inconvenient. Still, adult Larry never indicts child Larry for his behavior. When recalling his schemes to disrupt his father’s sleep, adult Larry does not offer an apology or admission of guilt, but attempts to explain—perhaps even excuse—the situation by describing his father’s shouting and conduct (“[Father] looked very wicked”). Rather than simply telling readers that child Larry’s behavior is, at times, reprehensible, adult Larry chooses to show readers this, allowing child Larry’s actions to speak for themselves.

One of the biggest lessons Larry learns as he matures is to empathize with others. In becoming more adult, Larry loses some of his self-centeredness to make room for his parents’ perspectives. This makes it all the more important, then, for Larry’s mother and father to reciprocate their son’s efforts by considering how Larry sees things. Child Larry is clever and witty, but he is still young and unaware of many things (war and God among them). It is therefore the responsibility of Larry’s parents to educate their son about what he does not yet know, and make room for Larry to teach them in the process. In showing child Larry’s perspective in such detail, O’Connor sends a message that making the effort to understand a child’s perspective results in better parents as well as more compassionate adults.