Now, as Rachel rides the train north, she is not escaping from her life but instead investing more deeply in it. She wants to understand what has happened to her and reckon with it fully—she’s no longer denying or numbing herself to her traumas. Instead, she’s finding ways to face them head-on—even when they still frighten her. In visiting Megan’s graveside, she symbolically begins to forgive herself for her own perceived failures as a woman by empathizing with Megan’s struggles with womanhood and motherhood as well.