Officer Shrift is the only police officer (and the entire police force) in Dictionopolis. And in addition to being the police force, he’s also the judge and the jailer in town. He’s about two feet tall and four feet wide, and as he walks through Dictionopolis he continuously mutters that the people around him are guilty. Officer Shrift imprisons Milo and Tock for destroying the Word Market, and in addition to giving them a “short sentence” (“I am,” the shortest sentence he knows), he also imprisons them in the dungeons for six million years. But Faintly Macabre, the witch, assures Milo that while Officer Shrift loves locking people up, he doesn’t care at all about keeping them in prison—there’s a door out of the cell. Officer Shrift rides a dachshund in the final fight against the demons of Ignorance.