We Were Liars

by

E. Lockhart

We Were Liars: Part 4: Look, a Fire Summary & Analysis

Summary
Analysis
There is a fire on the southern part of Beechwood Island. Clairmont is on fire, and there is no one to help. Cady can see firefighters coming in from the Vineyard and Woods Hole to try to put out the fire that she set. She, Johnny, Mirren, and Gat set fire to Clairmont—they burned down the castle of the king with the three beautiful daughters. Cady remembers this so suddenly that she falls over and plunges into the ocean and all the way to the bottom. She wakes up in her bed in Windemere at dawn and realizes that it is her last week at Beechwood. She looks over at New Clairmont, built on the ashes of her family history: the life her grandparents built together, the many items of great value inside, the family portraits and history. Cady knows that she and the Liars waited until everyone was away, and they burned it all down. 
Cady’s recovered memory of the fire is a major turning point in the novel, and immediately gives her a different perspective on the construction of New Clairmont. In addition, she goes from believing that something happened to her to understanding that she was one of the main actors in the tragedy. She also recognizes the significance of Clairmont as the home base of her family history. She feels a pang of guilt for depriving her family of its central gathering place, but that is only a small peek at the pain she will feel when she realizes all they have lost. 
Themes
Death, Loss, and Memory Theme Icon
Quotes
Cady goes to Cuddledown to tell the Liars about this memory and reveal the fact that she knows they are criminals. Johnny asks her what else she remembers, and she realizes that the snippets of memory that she has had all along—Mirren holding a gas can, Harris standing by a tree watching a bonfire—they are from that night, but she hadn’t put them together correctly before this moment. Johnny helps her fill some of it in: the aunts were getting drunk and fighting throughout summer fifteen, and Harris only egged them on by turning them against one another. Carrie wanted Johnny to help her convince Harris to give her the majority of the inheritance; she asked him to talk badly of Cady as the eldest grandchild.
Cady’s knowledge of the fire opens the floodgates of her memory, and she is able to put pieces together that she had all along. She and Johnny talk about the events leading up to the fire, which are as important as the fire itself, in terms of understanding why it happened. Her memories of the aunts fighting over inheritance, and the way they used their children as pawns to vie for Harris’s attention, all give Cady a hint of why the Liars felt they needed to set fire to Clairmont in the first place.
Themes
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Death, Loss, and Memory Theme Icon
Cady remembers Penny asking her to write a sympathy card to Harris to remind him that she cares about him. Cady felt that this was false—she cared about her grandfather, of course, but she didn’t like having to write to him and remind him all the time. Penny also suggested that Cady remind Harris of all her success in school to show that she was well rounded and an asset to the Sinclair family. When Cady pressed her mother about why writing these letters is so important, Penny explained that Harris is “very impressionable” and needed reminding that Cady is the eldest grandchild, despite the fact that Johnny is only three weeks younger, and a boy.
One of the many tactics that the Sinclair sisters used to compete against one another was to pit their children against each other to vie for Harris’s admiration and favor. They knew that they had to play into his image of the family as a line of successful, glamorous, and well-adjusted people, and they used Johnny, Cady, and Mirren to perpetuate that image for Harris, even if it involved telling white lies about their lives.
Themes
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After Tipper’s death, the sisters took turns supporting Harris, but instead of cooperating as they had in the past, they are constantly fighting. Tipper had held the family together, and without her, her daughters fought over her possessions. Bess had inventoried all of the items of value, and they would get drunk and argue over nearly every item on the list. This would also turn into an argument about which sister had been most helpful to their parents in the past and is thus more deserving of their possessions. They would involve their children, as well—Penny asked Cady to tell Harris how much she loves a certain set of tablecloths, and Bess did the same with Mirren. In the end, neither Cady nor Mirren asked Harris for the tablecloths, because they didn’t want them.
Without the influence of their mother—who viewed wealth as something to share with others—the Sinclair sisters were only focused on the family possessions. In addition, the sisters monetized their love for their parents, suggesting that each past act of kindness to Tipper and Harris came with a price attached. The most disturbing aspect of this competition among the sisters was that they no longer had any reason to be together or to love one another beyond these arguments about material possessions and their future inheritance.
Themes
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That summer, Cady and Gat fell in love, and Cady doesn’t ask about Raquel. One evening, as the whole family is celebrating the twins’ birthdays at Clairmont, Cady and Gat sat next to one another at the table. Harris came over, wedged himself between them, and began to ask the Liars whether they thought he should leave the majority of his estate to Harvard to fund a student center. Penny overheard and was upset by this idea, but the grandchildren played along, suggesting that he name it The Sinclair Center for Socialization and Snacks. They felt good that was is asking their opinion, and were offended when Penny commented that they were only children and didn’t understand the importance of the conversation.
This scene at Clairmont very clearly juxtaposes the pure and genuine love between Cady and Gat with the Sinclair family relations, which devolved into pettiness and greed. Once again, Harris positioned himself between Cady and Gat as a reminder to Gat that he, as the patriarch, was the center of every family gathering, and that he had the power to keep Gat from Cady if he wants. He also manipulated the conversation to keep the family focused on his inheritance, thus making him the center of attention.
Themes
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The conversation helped Cady recognize how much the aunts needed Harris’s money. As she looked around the table, she thought about how Carrie doesn’t have any income of her own since the failure of her jewelry store, yet both of her sons went to private school. Bess was a stay-at-home mom with four kids to support and had lost her house when she divorced. Penny had a dog breeding business that hardly paid anything at all. All of Harris’s daughters were living off of his trust and needed the inheritance money. So when Harris suggested that he might donate that money to Harvard, he made a veiled threat to his own children.
While Cady previously took her family’s money for granted, the ongoing arguments about inheritance between the aunts caused her to look more critically at their finances and how it affected the family dynamic. On one hand, his daughters were unable to support themselves and just assumed he would provide for them; on the other hand, Harris set up this system himself in order to maintain control over his daughters even as adults. 
Themes
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Quotes
Later that summer, when the family was gathered for cocktail hour at Clairmont, Harris casually commented that according to Bess, Penny and Cady were probably very lonely in Windemere on their own. Bess tries to deny it, but Harris reminded her that she had mentioned Windemere’s five bedrooms and renovated kitchen, and that Penny wouldn’t need all of that anymore. Penny replied that she and Cady were not lonely at all and loved Windemere, turning to Cady to confirm this statement. Cady knew that she was supposed to say she loved Windemere and Beechwood, and Harris, and everything he stood for, but she was not interested in playing the game that had been going on all summer. Cady looked at her grandfather, told him that Windemere was too big for the two of them, and walked out of the room.
This conversation illustrates exactly how much Harris fanned the flames when it came to his daughters’ arguments over money and possessions. He brought up details from a private conversation with Bess in order to bring the tensions to the surface, almost forcing them to argue over who would get which summer house. As usual, Harris’s manipulations were successful—Penny felt the need to defend herself and her right to Windemere. Cady, on the other hand, could see through the manipulations and was unwilling to play the same games her mother did. 
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Penny was upset with Cady on the walk home, and asked her why she didn’t back up the statement that Windemere was just right for the two of them. She asked if Cady wanted to lose the house, reminding her that it was Bess’s own fault that she had such a big family and no husband to support her. She reminded Cady that the two of them had to look out for themselves, a statement that Cady found ridiculous. She reminded her mother that they had a trust fund, and that there are many people in the world who have nothing. Tipper is the only person who wanted to do anything good with the money, and now her daughters were arguing over her pearls and other meaningless items.
Later in the evening, as Cady and Penny talked about the incident, it was clear that Penny’s deepest fear was the loss of her lifestyle, and she saw the money available to her as finite and scarce. Cady’s view was much more relative, as she noted that in comparison with many other people in the world, their financial resources were plentiful. She also criticized her mother by suggesting that this scarcity mindset made the daughters inferior to Tipper.
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Penny responded that Cady was acting superior and just parroting what she had heard from Gat. Neither Gat nor Cady had to pay bills or had a family to support, yet they were passing judgement on Penny and her sisters. She demanded that Cady return to Clairmont to tell Harris that she wanted to live in Windemere, but Cady refused. She told Penny to tell Harris to stop manipulating the family. She suggested that the sisters get jobs and make their own money so they wouldn’t be so dependent on his inheritance. But Penny replied with an ultimatum: if she wanted to continue to see Gat, she needed to talk to Harris about Windemere. Recognizing her mother’s power over her, Cady did as she was told. Harris told her that she and Penny would keep Windemere, but later Cady found out from Mirren that Harris had also promised Windemere to Bess.
Penny correctly guessed that Cady’s new attitude towards material possessions was directly linked to her conversations with Gat, and used this against her daughter. First of all, while Cady saw Gat as worldly and sophisticated, Penny reminded her that regardless of what he had seen so far, he was still looking at the world from a child’s point of view, unaware of the complexity of adult responsibilities. But it was Penny’s ultimatum that carried the most weight, as it reminded Cady that regardless of how mature and independent she and Gat believed themselves to be, the Sinclairs had the power to keep them apart. This reality likely played a significant role in Cady’s decision to destroy her family’s legacy in hopes of improving the relationships between them and changing how they treated Gad.
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Cady and Gat were tossing around tennis balls one evening, when Gat mentioned that Harris never called him by his name—he only calls him “young man.” When Cady wondered why that was, Gat responded that by using his name, Harris would then acknowledge him as the Indian boy whom he caught kissing his precious granddaughter, and whose Indian uncle is corrupting Carrie, his “pure white daughter.” Harris wanted to consider himself liberal—and he even voted for Obama—but deep down, he didn’t want people of color in his family. So he accepted Gat and Ed superficially, but made sure to use words like “sir” and “young man” to cement their status as outsiders.
Cady was finally starting to see how much control Harris had over the entire family, and how he was able to impose his own biases and prejudices on them. She had very little reason to think about her grandfather’s politics or his thoughts on race until Gat and his uncle Ed entered the family. Gat unmasked Harris as a hypocrite who espoused one set of values for the general public, but maintaieds a separate, less liberal set of values for his own family.
Themes
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Quotes
Gat told Cady that Ed proposed to Carrie the previous fall, which was news to Cady. He went on to explain that Ed and Carrie had been together nine years, that Johnny and Will considered him a father figure, and that Ed wanted to make it official. He prepared everything in advance, from flowers and candles to Carrie’s favorite meals, to the boys all dressed in white to witness the event. But when he produced the ring and gets on one knee to ask her, Carrie said no. Regardless of how she felt about Ed, she knew that marrying him could anger Harris and she could lose her share of the inheritance—she wasn’t willing to take that risk.
The story of Ed’s proposal to Carrie is bittersweet—on one hand, it demonstrates how genuine Ed’s love for Carrie was, and how much he wanted to provide for his girlfriend and her family. This scene humanizes Ed and underscores the fact that his values were likely more honorable than Harris’s. But it also highlights how dependent Carrie was upon her father’s approval, and what was at stake for her if she went against his wishes, even if those wishes were unreasonable.
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In that moment, Cady looked at Gat and felt that she knew him completely, and leaned in to kiss him. She asked him why he hadn’t mentioned all of this before, and Gat responded that he didn’t want to ruin the joy of being on Beechwood for the summer—he wanted to imagine that life is perfect while he is there. The two of them walked out to the water, climbed up onto a rock, took off most of their clothes, and held each other, trying to forget about everything that was wrong with the Sinclair family.
While Cady remained blissfully unaware of the quiet bigotry directed at Ed and Gat, Gat did not want to talk to her about it and ruin their summer fun. It is interesting that Gat chose to hold back that information from Cady, who only craved a deeper connection to Gat and to know as much about his life and thoughts as possible.
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Cady tells another fairy tale, about a wealthy merchant with three beautiful daughters. One evening before leaving for a journey, he asked his daughters what he could bring back for them. The first two asked for silk, lace, rubies, and emeralds, but the eldest only wanted a rose. On his way back from his trip, the merchant found a rose along a fence and cut one for his daughter, when a cloaked figure scolded him for stealing the rose. He took off his cloak to reveal his hideous, monstrous face, and told the merchant that he must bring him the first thing he saw upon his return, in exchange for the stolen rose. Of course, when the merchant arrived home, he saw his eldest daughter first, and knew that he must give her to the beast. The daughter came to love the beast, as everyone already knows from the original tale—she saw his charm, intellect, and sensitive heart. But her father would always see him as a hideous monster.
The fairy tale that Cady tells this time is the basic plot of Beauty and the Beast, which she acknowledges near the end of the story. She notes that while the beautiful girl could see the beast for the person he was on the inside, in this version of the story, her father could never accept him or see beyond his monstrous looks. This story can refer to both Cady and Carrie, who fell in love with men who Harris considered monstrous on the outside. The point of this retelling, of course, is to call into question the validity of the fairy tale’s happy ending, especially in this case, when the beautiful young girl is not in control of her life or her choices of partners.
Themes
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One night, Gat woke Cady up by throwing pebbles at her bedroom window. She came out and they decided to raid the pantry in Clairmont to find chocolate. When they got into the pantry and began rummaging for snacks, they heard the voices of Carrie, Penny, and Bess, who were drunk and arguing in the kitchen. They were fighting over the inheritance, of course—Bess was telling the others that she did all of the funeral arrangements for Tipper and stayed with Harris while he mourned her death, so she should be compensated in some way for her extra work. The others countered that she lived close by and it was easier for her to do it, to which Bess replied that she also had to work and take care of four children—and Penny reminded her that it is only a part-time job, anyway.
This scene is also a significant moment in Cady’s memory of her fifteenth summer on the island, because while the Liars witnessed a great deal of fighting among their aunts, in this moment they were overhearing the women’s intimate and unfiltered conversation. The Sinclair sisters were programmed to present a different version of themselves in public, and that even extended to the conversations at family dinners and gatherings—it is only when they were completely alone that they were truly honest with each other.
Themes
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The sisters continued arguing: Carrie reminded them all that Harris called her all the time to talk, and that she also came to visit him when he is mourning. Bess doesn’t consider that a real effort, and she reiterated that she did all of the hard work but as still stuck in Cuddledown, the worst of the houses because of its old, run-down kitchen. Both Windemere and Red Gate got renovations, but Cuddledown was neglected—just as Bess feels she was being neglected, despite all of her work. She then tore into Carrie for bringing Ed and Gat to the island every summer, “parad[ing] [them] around like a defiant girl with a forbidden toy,” despite the fact that she knew Harris did not approve. In response, Carrie slapped Bess across the face. Overhearing the entire conversation, Cady and Gat held hands on the floor of the pantry, unsure of what to do.
The argument between the sisters is very similar to the ones that they have when Harris and the children are present, but they consumed more alcohol and were more aggressive towards one another. This is a side of the women that neither Gat nor Cady had seen up to this point, and it made clear to them that the family’s money was damaging the relationship between the sisters. All of this came to a head when Bess mentioned Ed, reminding Carrie that she was not in control of her love life, and that Harris disapproved of this relationship that made her happy and secure.
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Quotes
A few days later, Harris talked to Johnny privately to ask him a favor. He wanted Gat to stop coming to family dinners at Clairmont, and when Johnny refused to do his bidding, Harris withdrew all of the money from Johnny’s college fund. Eventually, he convinced Carrie to talk to Gat: she told him that it was “riling Harris up,” and that it would be better if he just ate alone at one of the other houses. Gat agreed not to come to dinner at Clairmont, and all of the other Liars boycotted the family dinners in protest. Bess began to push her children to talk to Harris about moving into Windemere—they were to remind their grandfather that they were the future of the family, because Johnny and Cady weren’t smart enough to get into Harvard, but Mirren was. Mirren refused.
In contrast to the aunts, the Liars were unwilling to let Harris control their lives and impose his bigotry on them. When Harris asked him to disinvite Gat from the family dinners, Johnny was willing to risk the loss of his inheritance to stand his ground—something his own mother (Carrie) was unable to do. All of the Liars felt that when it came to Gat, they were willing to disobey their parents and grandfather, and recognize that they were being pushed to choose between Gat and the Sinclair family.
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Penny spoke with Cady about her relationship with Gat, explaining that her “summer fling” was putting everything at risk, including their summer home and their future inheritance. She then demanded that Cady stop seeing Gat, which she refused to do. That night, the Liars took a few prized possessions from the houses—including the ivory goose Harris purchased in China for Tipper—and took them to the dock and smashed them to bits. They then got a bucket of water from the ocean and rinsed the dock clean, washing away the remnants of the destroyed items.
Harris’s campaign to rid himself of Gat would not be complete without ensuring that he no longer spent time alone with Cady—but when Penny asked her daughter to stop seeing Gat, she refused. This was the final straw for Cady, as she knew that she would not be able to see him during the school year and did not want to lose him during the summers. They smashed some valuable items of Harris’s as a prelude to their real act of rebellion.
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The Liars began to fantasize about Clairmont’s destruction via a natural disaster, as a way for God to punish the family for their greed, pettiness, and bigotry. After that, they reasoned, the family would learn to love again and would be purified.
The Liars focused their anger not on a person, but on Clairmont itself, as a symbol of what was destroying the family. The first step was to hope it is destroyed, and later this progressed to them taking action on their own.
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The following day, the Liars were in the garden of Red Gate and could hear Harris and his daughters arguing at Clairmont. Penny was drunkenly complaining about how she had to repeatedly win Harris’s love, and that she was sure that her sisters would get all his inheritance and she would end up with nothing. She even threatened to take Cady away if she didn’t get what she wanted, which prompted Harris to yell at her about how she should be working for what she wants, rather than waiting for it to come to her. He directed his speech at Will and Taft, as well, although they were nearly crying at this point. Harris reminded those around him that the Sinclairs were a grand old family with strong values and traditions, and that his daughters were sullying the family name with their divorces and lack of work ethic.
Penny’s drunken comments highlight the fact that the Sinclair sisters conflated money with love—she believed that she would not get any of the inheritance, and interpreted that to mean that Harris did not love her as much as her sisters. Harris was annoyed by the argument despite the fact that he was fueling the flames for the entire summer. His way of resolving the problem was to remind everyone of the image that he has constructed of the Sinclair family and to remind them of how far they strayed from the façade he worked so hard to create. 
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Quotes
Cady asks Johnny for more memories like these, as they sit in Cuddledown talking about summer fifteen. Johnny tells her that after the argument, Carrie left the island with Will, Penny went to see a friend of hers on Martha’s Vineyard, and even Harris left the island. The Liars stayed behind and planned the fire. They convinced Bess to take the younger kids to the mainland to see a movie, and then they got drunk on wine and talked about what they were going to do. Gat was especially angry, because he knew he wouldn’t come back to Beechwood. If Carrie ended up marrying Ed, they would be cut off, and if she left Ed, Gat wouldn’t have any connection to the Sinclairs.
The narration returns to present day, as Cady is talking to Johnny about these recovered memories. Now that she has clearly understands the context of the summer, she is ready to remember the events leading up to the fire at Clairmont. She knows that it happened, but she will need to re-experience it in order to understand it and come to terms with her feelings of guilt and grief. Johnny reminds Cady that they chose to burn down Clairmont in order to save their friendship and her relationship with Gat.
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The Liars decided that Clairmont was a symbol of everything that was wrong with the family—Gat described it as the “seat of the patriarchy,” which Johnny laughed at, but he was right. Clairmont housed the family possessions and the paperwork, and with those items lost in a fire, there would be nothing to fight over. They thought of it as a way to unite the family. Cady remembers some of this, like how Gat cried—like a man, not a boy, like he had experienced the bitterness of life. Someone brought up the fact that they could still see one another even if they didn’t have this special time on the island, but they weren’t convinced. They wanted to make a bigger statement and force the family to change their ways. 
The Liars decided that their rebellion against their mothers—specifically, not letting themselves be pit against one another in the family fight over inheritance—was not enough. Throughout the summer, they all began to adopt Gat’s perspective on wealth and materialism, and even though Johnny made a joke about Gat’s use of the world “patriarchy,” he was no longer as skeptical of these ideas as he was at the beginning of the summer, seeing how their wealth damaged the family.
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Cady was in love with Gat and couldn’t bear to have him taken away from her, and this was really fueling her desire to take action. She was determined not to let their love be threatened—inspired by Gat’s motto, she would not accept an evil she could change. She even thought of herself as a hero. She and Gat convinced Mirren and Johnny, and they all decided to do it together. They made their plan: they would soak paper and cardboard in extra gas from the motorboats, and then they would light a roll of paper towels and throw it all into the pile. They would do this on every floor of Clairmont—Gat in the basement, Cady on the ground floor, and Johnny and Mirren on the upper floors.
Throughout all of summer fifteen, Cady was faced with the fact that her relationship with Gat was exclusive to their time on the island—he had a girlfriend back in New York City, and their lives during the school year were so different that they likely would not be able to maintain the same sense of romance. She was determined not to lose her time with Gat on the island, and this made her even more sure that burning down Clairmont was right decision. Her dedication to this plan will later be the nucleus of her grief over the Liars’ deaths.
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Johnny and Mirren told Cady that the fire departments from Martha’s Vineyard and Woods Hole took a long time to arrive, which is what they had hoped for. They were planning to call the fire department and tell them they were all at Cuddledown watching a movie when they finally saw the smoke. They felt safe knowing that the fire department as made up of volunteers, and they would probably assume it was an accident. And even if the family knew what really happened, they wouldn’t prosecute. They would want to shield the family from bad publicity, though the truth is, Cady feels a certain thrill from knowing that she is an arsonist.
The Liars believed that they had covered all of their bases by establishing an agreed-upon alibi. It will turn out that they had hardly thought at all about the logistics of this plan, but their main concern was not getting in trouble for setting the fire, and as adolescents, the idea that they could die simply did not occur to them. Cady’s side note, that she is thrilled to be an arsonist, also suggests that they were too filled with adrenaline to think carefully about their plan.
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Cady is excited as she remembers the leadup to the fire: she sees herself as a rebel, and someone who changed history. She wonders, fleetingly, if this makes her a criminal and therefore a failure, but she still feels buoyed by the fact that they took action. However, Mirren notes some of the less exciting consequences of their actions: Carrie wanders the island at night, and Bess cleans obsessively until her hands bleed. Penny watches Cady’s every move, and they all drink way too much now. But Cady reminds Mirren that at least they are together now, which is what they wanted in the first place. And now Harris doesn’t have the same power he did in the past.
Cady begins to romanticize the act of setting fire to the house, especially as it changes her perception of herself as a member of the Sinclair family—she desperately wants to shake off the Sinclair family image and decide who she is without that family pressure. This speaks to her burgeoning sense of individualism and desire for self-definition. Mirren’s response, however, gives Cady only a sneak peek into the negative consequences of their actions.
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Cady comes to the conclusion that the Liars have committed the perfect crime—admittedly, there have been some negative outcomes, like her own migraines and Mirren’s constant illness—and have gotten what they wanted. But Mirren argues that Harris is now powerless because of the slow onset of dementia, and Gat notes that New Clairmont—the one he built on the ashes of the old house—seems to be a punishment, with its cold, uncomfortable atmosphere. Cady wonders why he would do that to himself, and the Liars turn the question back on her, asking her why she is determined to give away all of her belongings. She replies that she just hates clutter, but the answer is met with silence.
Without a full understanding of the actual consequences of the fire—that is, without knowing that she is the only one of the Liars to survive it, and that she isn’t even talking with living beings at this point in the conversation—Cady is able to continue feeling heroic for their actions. Through this conversation with Mirren and Gat, Cady is mentally debating with herself, trying to come to terms with the fact that something she considered heroic was actually a bad decision with tragic consequences.
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Cady finds her mother at Windemere, and Penny lectures her about spending so much time at Cuddledown. She tells Cady that the place is such a mess, she can’t ask the housekeeper to clean it. Cady apologizes and asks why Penny tells everyone not to talk to her about the fire. Penny is surprised to hear that Cady remembers the fire, and Cady acknowledges that she only remembers parts—that everyone had been fighting, and the Liars are the only ones on the island when they set the fire. Her mother asks if she remembers anything else. Cady asks again why Penny doesn’t want anyone to talk about it, and she replies that it is because of the pain.
Cady has done an enormous amount of work to recover the memory of the fire, and when she speaks with Penny, her mother is surprised by how much she remembers. However, Cady still has no idea that the Liars are dead, while it is clear from their conversation that Penny knows Cady has been spending time alone at Cuddledown. Also, despite the fact that she knows about the fire, Penny is not ready to reveal anything more to her about that night.
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Cady is annoyed that her mother is shielding her in this way, just because she has headaches and has lost some memories. Penny tells her that the doctor advised against adding any more stress to Cady’s life, but Cady announces that she is not a child and can be trusted with basic information, and that Penny should have told her. Penny replies that she did tell her about the fire, two years earlier, over and over, and Cady never remembered the following day. Penny felt that she as upsetting her daughter anew each day, and the doctor told her that she should just stop. Cady can’t believe that her mother would let the whole family keep secrets from her, and asks if she seems so fragile she can’t hear the truth. Penny replies that yes, she does seem that fragile.
Once again, Cady is reacting to her mother’s actions based on her limited knowledge of the situation. She feels that she is capable of handling the truth at this point, yet the fact that she is still seeing the Liars—and believing that they are alive—proves otherwise. In addition, Penny reveals that Cady does, in fact, know what happened on the night of the fire, but that she has suppressed those memories. This offers rare insight into Penny’s feelings as a mother—though she has been portrayed as a selfish character throughout the novel, she is clearly looking out for her daughter’s mental health.
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Mirren comes to see Cady and asks to read the emails Cady sent to her in the past year, admitting that she never read any of them. Cady is very angry to hear this, but lets Mirren read the emails anyway—there are 28 of them. She writes to Mirren about leaving for Europe and how much she would miss the Liars that summer, and how much she dislikes spending time with her father. There are some that are very dark, in which she describes dreaming of someone hacking away at her head with an axe: sometimes it is Harris, sometimes it is Gat, and sometimes it is Cady herself. She admits that sometimes she wants to die. When Mirren finishes reading them, she apologizes and then leaves.
Cady’s conversation with Mirren about the unanswered emails is her way of preparing herself for the deep sense of loneliness that she will feel when she finally faces the fact that Mirren and the others are dead. Going through her own emails also helps Cady reflect on how she was feeling the previous summer in Europe, especially when she reads about the dreams she had—Cady was subconsciously alternating between blaming Harris and Gat for the tragedy and blaming herself.
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Cady opens her laptop and writes out everything she remembers, ignoring typos and omitting punctuation, making sure to get everything down before she forgets again. She puts down all the memories of the fights and the awful things her mother tries to make her do for the inheritance. She also writes memories of the dogs, Fatima and Prince Philip, recalling suddenly that the golden retrievers died in the fire. She now knows that they died in the fire that she set, and that it is her fault. The dogs were badly trained and would eat starfish on the beach and throw them up in the living room, beg at the table, ignore basic commands from the family. They were often locked into a bedroom at night to keep them from causing a mess, and they were trapped in there when the Liars started the fire. Cady is wracked with guilt over the fact that she killed the naughty, but beloved, dogs.
After all of this fact-finding and soul-searching, Cady must try to organize her thoughts and create some sort of coherent narrative out of the jumbled memories and feelings that have resurfaced in the past few days. This activity points to the importance of writing as a method of understanding the past and coming to terms with painful memories. It is also significant that Cady transitions from writing fairy tales (which she has used to make sense of her emotions while keep her trauma at a distance) to writing directly about her own memories. It is through writing that she recalls the death of the dogs, working through the first phase of pain and guilt at having taken the lives of others. This is also preparation for the bigger realization that is yet to come: that she has also killed other human beings.
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Cady runs from Windemere crying, thinking about the dogs and the consequences of what she did. She imagines them looking at the door of the bedroom as the smoke comes in, hoping to be rescued. Cady doesn’t know where to go at the moment—she doesn’t want to see the Liars, and when she thinks about all of her options, she realizes that she is trapped on the island, the same island where she killed the family dogs. She realizes that all of their big ideas about taking down the patriarchy, and all of her boasting about being a hero and purifying the family feel false. She thinks about how innocent the dogs were, and wonders what kind of person could have burned the house down without remembering that the dogs were upstairs.
The feelings Cady is experiencing in response to the death of the dogs is a preview of how she will feel later on, when she realizes that the fire killed the Liars as well. And it is interesting to note that Cady has been searching for answers—which she thought would free her from the isolation of her amnesia—but instead, those answers make her feel trapped and enclosed. In part, this feeling may stem from the knowledge that the truth is inescapable, and that there is no doubting it, putting it out of her mind, or escaping to an alternate reality through a fairy tale.
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When Cady returns to Windemere, she sees Gat sitting on the steps waiting for her. She walks up to him and tells him that she knows they she killed the dogs. He lets her sob into his shoulder and consoles her. Finally, he asks if she remembers anything else, and she can’t imagine that there is more to come, but Gat’s silence assures her that there is, in fact, more for her to remember. She comments that there is more that people are not telling her, and Gat says that they have been telling her, but she can’t hear it. She wants someone to tell her directly, but Gat says that he had faith in the fact that Cady would remember on her own once she is surrounded by her family on the island.
Cady’s conversation with Gat about the death of the dogs and her recovered memories shows that she is getting very close to remembering the whole truth. Gat’s note that everyone has been telling Cady but she can’t hear it can be interpreted as Cady recognizing the slow and careful process of recovering these painful memories. She cannot have someone just tell her directly, unless it is one of the Liars, who are simply figments of her imagination—and thus, she must learn to tell herself the story of what happened.
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Cady tells Gat that she remembers so much leading up to the fire, but she doesn’t remember what went wrong or why Gat wasn’t with her when she got hurt. She asks if they had an argument or something, and tells Gat that she deserves an answer. But Gat can’t answer her and tells her he has to go back to Cuddledown. He tells Cady that he messed up, that he shouldn’t have kissed, given her roses, or told her she was beautiful. She replied that she wanted him to, and he insists that he should have stayed away. She kisses him and tries to get him to stay, but he leaves.
In this conversation, Gat is dealing with his own feelings of guilt over how he treated Cady and his part in the events leading up to the fire. Of course, as Gat is part of Cady’s imagination, this is Cady’s interpretation of how Gat might have felt, and it is her way of resolving many of the unanswered questions from their relationship. She will never know exactly what he is thinking, but she can imagine.
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Cady remembers being in the hospital on Martha’s Vineyard, under blue sheets with an IV in her arm. Her mother and Harris were there, with fudge from Edgartown, and Cady was touched that Harris remembered that she liked their fudge. Cady looked at her hands and noticed they are bandaged—both hands and feet were badly burned.
Once again, Cady must not only remember the events of that night, but she must re-live the experiences in order to understand them. In this case, she remembers small details like the fudge that bring the events back to life for her.
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Cady begins another fairy tale: once there was a king with three beautiful daughters. No, once there were three bears living in the woods. No, once there were three billy goats near a bridge. Three soldiers, three little pigs, three brothers… no, none of that is what she wants. The right version is this: once there were three children: two boys and a girl. There was also a witch, the same age as the children, and she was jealous of them. They were blessed with fairy gifts and she was not, and she was lonely. She gave away all of her belongings, but that did not make her charitable or good. She got sick, and is not brave.
As she gets closer to the darkest memories from summer fifteen, Cady returns to the fairy tale format as a way of distancing herself from the pain. The characters in this fairy tale are slightly different from before: there is no king or princesses, but rather a group of kids and a witch. While the stories in the lead-up to the fire were focused on Harris’s relationship with his daughters, this is now about Cady and the other Liars.
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The witch visited the other children on their tenth birthdays and cursed them: when they are 16, they would strike matches and die in the flames. The children’s parents were afraid of this curse and tried to avoid it by bringing them to a castle on a private island, with no matches in sight. They thought they would be safe there, and the witch would never find them. But she found them, when they are 15, and she brought her hate and evil into their lives, disguised as a young blonde maiden. She befriended the children and gave them a box of matches, telling them that the flames would purify their souls. She demanded that they take action, and they did exactly that. The witch watched them burn.
In this story, Cady portrays herself as a witch who curses the children out of jealousy. The witch is lonely and scared, and takes it out on the children, condemning them to death. Clearly Cady sees herself as the villain in this moment, taking responsibility for the entire tragedy—she feels that she forced the others to set the fire and that she killed them. This does not seem likely, as it was a group decision, but Cady is experiencing survivor’s guilt for not dying along with them. 
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