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Soft Negotiation
Along with soft negotiation, its opposite, hard negotiation is one of the two basic strategies that most people intuitively use to negotiate. Hard negotiators prioritize getting their way above all else, but they often ruin their relationships with other people in the process. Because hard negotiators view the other party as an enemy and do not see the other side’s interests as legitimate, they end up being manipulative, deceitful, and demanding in negotiations. Hard negotiators often get their way when they manage to stick to positional bargaining and negotiate with soft negotiators, but they destroy their relationships in the process, which often sabotages their long-term goals. In contrast, hard negotiators get nowhere and end up looking foolish when they meet principled negotiators who do not respond to personal attacks and insist on prioritizing the merits of different proposals over the sheer will and ruthlessness of each side.
Hard Negotiation Quotes in Getting to Yes
The Getting to Yes quotes below are all either spoken by Hard Negotiation or refer to Hard Negotiation. For each quote, you can also see the other terms and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
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Introduction
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There is a third way to negotiate, a way neither hard nor soft, but rather both hard and soft. The method of principled negotiation developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project is to decide issues on their merits rather than through a haggling process focused on what each side says it will and won't do. It suggests that you look for mutual gains whenever possible, and that where your interests conflict, you should insist that the result be based on some fair standards independent of the will of either side. The method of principled negotiation is hard on the merits, soft on the people. It employs no tricks and no posturing. Principled negotiation shows you how to obtain what you are entitled to and still be decent. It enables you to be fair while protecting you against those who would take advantage of your fairness.
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Chapter 3
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Be hard on the problem, soft on the people. You can be just as hard in talking about your interests as any negotiator can be in talking about their position. In fact, it is usually advisable to be hard. It may not be wise to commit yourself to your position, but it is wise to commit yourself to your interests. This is the place in a negotiation to spend your aggressive energies. The other side, being concerned with their own interests, will tend to have overly optimistic expectations of the range of possible agreements. Often the wisest solutions, those that produce the maximum gain for you at the minimum cost to the other side, are produced only by strongly advocating your interests. Two negotiators, each pushing hard for their interests, will often stimulate each other's creativity in thinking up mutually advantageous solutions.
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Hard Negotiation Term Timeline in Getting to Yes
The timeline below shows where the term Hard Negotiation appears in Getting to Yes. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.
Introduction
...negotiate well without becoming “dissatisfied, worn out, or alienated.” Generally, people are either soft or hard negotiators. Soft negotiators want to avoid conflict, but this often leads them to give up...
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...authors Fisher, Ury, and Patton propose a theory of principled negotiation that combines aspects of hard and soft negotiation. This strategy requires identifying shared goals and evaluating competing interests based on...
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Chapter 1: Don’t Bargain Over Positions
...is no answer” to the difficulties posed by positional bargaining. In a table, they contrast hard and soft negotiation. Hard negotiators treat other parties as enemies to defeat through demands, threats,...
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...in the negotiation also affects the very rules of the negotiation—for instance, whether it is hard or soft. Negotiators can choose hard or soft negotiating principles, but they can always also...
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As an alternative to soft and hard negotiation, the authors have developed the principled negotiation method (also called “negotiation on the merits”)....
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Chapter 3: Focus on Interests, Not Positions
In conclusion, people should take a hard negotiating stance toward their interests but not toward their positions. Wise agreements often require both...
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