Throughout the novel, Kurt Cobain and Nirvana symbolize the characters’ longing for connection and understanding as they seek to establish a sense of personal identity. Ellie’s parasocial relationship with Cobain and Nirvana best exemplifies this longing, as the 15-year-old only feels truly understood through their music. Ellie intimately identifies with Nirvana’s grunge, anti-mainstream ethos, viewing the band as revolutionary. She wears her Kurt Cobain sweatshirt to school every day, despite knowing she’ll get in trouble for violating the dress code. It is likely no coincidence that Ellie’s and Marcus’s first conversation is about her sweatshirt and Cobain. In this moment, the mere image of Cobain’s face is enough to bridge all of the perceived gaps between them—gaps in age, appearance, and truancy record—unexpectedly bringing together two teens in need of a friend.
Whenever Kurt Cobain is mentioned, his well-documented struggles with depression and mental illness also come to mind. For many, Nirvana remains the epitome of the grunge scene and Cobain the quintessential “tortured artist.” Numerous characters remark on the honesty in Cobain’s voice and his willingness to confront darkness and truth in a compelling way. Even Will, who admits he doesn’t understand the emotional complexity of Nirvana’s music, listens to it in order to feel something. In the end, Cobain’s death becomes the emotional climax of the story, bringing together numerous characters to grieve together and connect over their shared love of the musician. This illustrates how community and chosen family can often be forged in moments of great loss and uncertainty.
Kurt Cobain/Nirvana Quotes in About a Boy
[...] it could reasonably be argued that reality was not in his genes. He liked watching real stuff on EastEnders and The Bill, and he liked listening to Joe Strummer and Kurt Cobain singing about real stuff, but he’d never had real stuff sitting on his sofa before. No wonder, then, that once he’d made it a cup of tea and offered it a biscuit he didn’t really know what to do with it.
He gave Marcus a vinyl copy of Nevermind, because they didn’t own a CD player, and a Kurt Cobain T-shirt, so he could keep in with Ellie; he gave Fiona a pretty groovy and pretty expensive plain glass vase, because she’d complained after the hospital business that she didn’t know what to do with the flowers. Marcus gave him a crossword-solver’s book to help him with Countdown, and Fiona gave him The Single Parent’s Handbook as a joke.
‘How do you know? How do you know he wasn’t just messing about? I’ll bet you he never does anything like it again.’
‘You don’t know him,’ Ellie said.
‘Neither do you,’ Marcus shouted at her. ‘He’s not even a real person. He’s just a singer. He’s just someone on a sweatshirt. It’s not like he’s anyone’s mum.’
‘No, but he’s someone’s dad, you little prat,’ said Ellie. ‘He’s Frances Bean’s dad. He’s got a beautiful little girl and he still wants to die. So, you know.’
Marcus did know, he thought. He turned around and ran out.
‘You don’t know anything.’
‘I know some things. I know about that. I’ll tell you, Ellie, you don’t feel anything like my mum, or Kurt Cobain. You shouldn’t say that you feel like killing yourself when you don’t. It’s not right.’
Ellie shook her head and laughed her low nobody-understands-me laugh, a noise that Marcus hadn’t heard since the day they met outside Mrs. Morrison’s office. She was right, he hadn’t understood her then; he understood her much better now.
Some of these people he hadn’t known until today; some of them he had only known for a little while, and even then he couldn’t say that he knew them well. But here they were anyway, one of them clutching a cardboard cut-out Kurt Cobain, one of them in a plaster cast, one of them crying, all of them bound to each other in ways that it would be almost impossible to explain to anyone who had just wandered in. Will couldn’t recall ever having been caught up in this sort of messy, sprawling, chaotic web before; it was almost as if he had been given a glimpse of what it was like to be human.