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Chapter 4
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Dibs in Search of Self, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Therapy, Empathy, and Non-Judgment
Parental Expectations vs. Self-Determination
Trust and Security
Intelligence vs. Emotional and Social Skills
Summary
Analysis
The following week, Dibs returns for his second session. Before going into the playroom, he reads the sign on the door: “Do not disturb” on one side and “play therapy room” on the other. When Dibs enters the room, he says, “You will take off your hat and coat.” Axline knows that Dibs is referring to himself and tries to help him use the word “I,” but the pronouns are confusing and she ultimately just helps him take his hat and coat off. Dibs then hangs the clothes on the doorknob by himself.
Even at Dibs’s second session, Axline illustrates how he is already improving, if minimally. Dibs still asks for and needs Axline’s help taking off his hat and jacket, and he still has trouble verbalizing his own desires and framing himself in terms of “I.” However, unlike the last session, Dibs hangs up his hat and coat, demonstrating a small step in gaining security and confidence in his own capabilities.
Themes
Dibs then goes over to the dollhouse. Noticing the house doesn’t have a front panel, Dibs retrieves it from the cupboard and after several tries is able to hook the panel into the correct groove. Axline observes that he got it on and locked it. Dibs gives a brief smile and says, “I did.” Dibs also draws a lock on the doorknob. Dibs then observes that the house wobbles a little, so he takes another partition and fits it under a corner to steady it. When the partition slips out, he says that Axline should put some wheels on it so that it doesn’t wobble. Axline notes that Dibs has many unused words in his vocabulary and that he can observe, define, and solve problems.
By recognizing his own ability to accomplish something, Dibs gains even more confidence and even starts to think of himself in terms of “I.” No longer is he simply mimicking the language of others; he is actively acknowledging his wants and achievements. That Dibs draws a lock on the dollhouse’s door continues to emphasize the impression that locked doors have made on him. It implies that he knows that virtually any environment could be used to punish him by locking him inside it, which instills a great deal of mistrust in the world around him.
Themes
For Dibs’s next activity, he walks to the sandbox and lines up the toy soldiers. Dibs says that he got soldiers like these for Christmas. He then counts and groups the different figures. When Axline observes that they are all pointing the same direction, Dibs grows upset and assures Axline that they are not shooting at her, and she says she understands. Dibs then takes off his shoes to get into the sandbox.
Here Dibs shows a desire to build up mutual trust with Axline and even his own empathy for her perspective. Dibs acknowledges that Axline might have thought he was pointing the soldiers’ guns at her. Thus, the more empathy she expresses for his perspective, the more he is able to relate to her in turn.
Themes
In the sandbox, Dibs buries three of the soldiers in the sand. The bells in the church on the other side of the street chime four o’clock, and Axline comments that Dibs will have to go home soon. Dibs takes out the finger paint, and Axline demonstrates how to use it. Dibs likes the paint, but he also gets upset at the mess and quickly wipes off the paint with a towel. Dibs instead turns to the watercolors. He uses the colors in order of the color wheel and paints a house, a tree, grass, sky, flowers, and the sun.
This passage introduces Dibs’s ambivalence about messes. While he enjoys painting, his enjoyment has often been stifled by his parents’ expectations that he won’t make a mess. Still, he relishes the ability to do what he wants to do in the way that he wants to do it, and he finds freedom and self-expression in painting with the watercolors.
Themes
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When Dibs is done painting, he says that the house belongs to Axline. Axline clarifies his statement, asking if he wants to give her the painting, and he nods. She doesn’t say thank you or praise him so that he can focus on his feelings and communication rather than her evaluation. Dibs then draws a lock on the door of her house. Axline thinks that his art is creative and unique.
Rather than judging Dibs’s painting (even positively), Axline simply wants him to experience the feeling of wanting to give someone a painting. In addition, the recurring lock emphasizes Dibs’s fear of confinement and isolation. He doesn’t have security even in the environments he creates.
Themes
After Dibs finishes the painting, Axline tells him that it’s time to go. Dibs ignores her, washing his brushes and the paint water out in the sink. When she repeats that he has to go, he looks miserable. His language becomes confused as he sobs, saying that he never wants to go home. Axline acknowledges that Dibs doesn’t want to go, but she also says that no matter how either of them feels about it, when their hour is over, he must go home. Axline assures Dibs that she will see him next Thursday.
Axline empathy for Dibs’s feelings provides a contrast with the experience that Dibs gets at school, where few people (if any) fully understand or allow him to be upset about not wanting to go home. Instead, people like his mother and teachers judge him for the tantrums he throws.
Themes
Dibs then asks if he can paint Axline another picture. Axline replies that Dibs can’t paint her anything else today, and she helps him into his coat as he says he doesn’t feel like going home. Axline explains that she knows how he feels. Axline writes that a child gains security from predictable and consistent limitations. She also knows that if the therapy sessions become too dominant in his life, then they won’t be truly effective. She wants Dibs to learn responsibility for himself and to gain psychological independence.
Axline’s statement that she knows how Dibs feels underscores her continued empathy for Dibs. At the same time, she wants to build structure into their relationship, explaining here that this generates feelings of safety. Her ultimate goal is not to become Dibs’s main form of emotional support. Instead, she hopes that he can eventually find security in himself and his environment at home in order to be truly happy.
Themes
As Axline puts on Dibs’s boots, she notices that he is sucking on a small nursing bottle that was on the table. Dibs then asks to put the tops on the paint jars, but Axline assures Dibs that she’ll clean up later. As Dibs leaves, he turns the sign on the door from “Do Not Disturb” to “Play Therapy Room.” He then walks down the hall to reception and leaves with his mother without a fuss.
The fact that Dibs retreats to the nursing bottle when he is distressed reinforces how much his lack of emotional intelligence obscures his intellect—he reverts to much more infantile behaviors when he is upset. However, the fact that Dibs returns to his mother without a fuss for the first time illustrates that Axline’s strategies are working: she is helping Dibs express, and thus cope with, his sad feelings.
Themes
