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Chapter 6
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Dibs in Search of Self, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Therapy, Empathy, and Non-Judgment
Parental Expectations vs. Self-Determination
Trust and Security
Intelligence vs. Emotional and Social Skills
Summary
Analysis
When Dibs enters the playroom for his fourth session the next week, he notices that the sandbox is not the way he left it, and he asks where his duck is. Axline says that someone may have moved it, summarizing the situation to slow down Dibs’s thoughts and feelings and to help him identify them. Dibs asks Axline why she didn’t keep things in the same place; this makes him angry. Axline acknowledges that he is upset that the toys were not as he had left them, and she writes that she wants Dibs to learn that no part of his world is static and controllable.
Axline’s actions here illustrate that her goal is not for Dibs to simply get what he wants all the time. Even though safe environments are important, they are not always guaranteed in the outside world. Instead, Axline wants Dibs to be able to experience his feelings without judgement; this way he can cope with them. By contrast, hiding feelings away as Dibs has done only compounds his pain.
Themes
Axline asks if she promised Dibs that she would leave things as they were, and he looks at the floor and says no. She says she understands that he feels angry and disappointed. Axline hopes Dibs learns that what will help him is not the duck or the sand mountain, but the feeling of security that they symbolize. She wants him to learn that he can cope with his disappointment. Dibs turns to the sandbox and starts to play with some of the figures.
Rather than punishing Dibs for his anger, Axline allows him to experience it and she empathizes with him. In this way, Axline helps Dibs cope with his feelings and move past them. Again her strategies prove fruitful, as Dibs is then able to overcome his anger and disappointment and continue to play.
Themes
When Dibs notices that one of the animal figures is bent, he tries to fix it with Axline’s pencil. The pencil tip breaks, and Axline leaves the room to sharpen it. The playroom, she reveals, has a one-way mirror, behind which are trained observers who monitor the tape recorders and keep records of Dibs’s behavior. When Axline is gone, Dibs digs in the sand and pulls out the soldiers he buried the week prior, commenting that he’ll “gouge” the soldier into the sand. He notes that the soldier is standing there like “an old iron railing from a fence.” He pushes the soldier into the sand once more, smiling and laughing.
Being in a supportive, non-judgmental environment allows Dibs to express himself through his play, as he does with the soldier. At the same time, Dibs only speaks and acts in this more sinister and violent way when Axline leaves the room, suggesting that he is still building trust in her. These secretive actions imply his worry that if he were to play in this way in front of her, she might punish him or judge him for it.
Themes
When Axline returns to the playroom, Dibs asks if he should take off his coat and turn the radiator on, but Axline says that the furnace is out of order. Dibs suggests that she could find out what’s wrong with the furnace by going into the basement and hanging around the action to hear what people are saying. Dibs says that Axline can learn lots of interesting things that way, and then he picks up the nursing bottle once more and drinks from it.
Dibs provides insight into his social strategies here. Instead of interacting with people and asking questions to gain information, he lingers around people, observing what they say and do without them knowing that he’s paying attention. While this has certainly allowed him to gain a great deal of knowledge, it has ultimately been detrimental to his social skills, and as Axline has observed, he needs both to become a well-rounded child.
Themes
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Next, Dibs checks all of the cupboards over the sink, but they are empty. He picks up a water gun and fills it with sand, but when he tries to shoot out the sand, it doesn’t work. Then Dibs returns to the sandbox and starts to play with the animal figures. As Dibs plays, he talks about Marshmallow, the school’s caged rabbit. Dibs says when no one is looking, he sometimes lets the rabbit out. Axline notes that this is Dibs’s first reference to school, and she wonders if his behavior there has changed: Miss Jane and Hedda told her they would contact her if they had anything to report, but they haven’t done so yet.
Dibs is starting to be more curious and inventive in his play as he trusts Axline and his environment more. In contrast to his first activity—simply naming and touching all of the objects—now he is taking more risks by trying out the water gun or exploring the cupboards. Additionally, Dibs’s reference to Marshmallow recalls his intense fear of doors and locks, as he empathizes with a rabbit who is confined and isolated from the world. His account also proves his intelligence, as he is absorbing information and learning in school even while he doesn’t fully participate.
Themes
As Dibs plays with the animal figures, he builds a fence around them but also creates an open gate so that they can get out when they want. He then picks out some of the toy soldiers and sets them up on the edge of the sandbox. Independence Day is four months and two weeks away, he informs Axline; it falls on Thursday, he says excitedly, which means he’ll get to come and see her that day. She comments that he must like to come to the playroom, and he replies emphatically that he does. Dibs says that on Independence Day, the soldiers are joyful, “unloading freedom and unlocking all the joy.” Axline is amazed at his evocative language, and she’s glad to see that he’s gaining confidence and happiness.
Dibs continues to display his hatred towards walls, doors, and locks, making sure that his animals can get out of their fenced area. He also affirms his love of the playroom, demonstrating how much of an impact Axline has made in only four hour-long sessions. Dibs suggests that the playroom makes him feel free in two ways: first, by talking about Independence Day (a day associated with freedom), and second, by the mere fact that he is finally talking so freely and intelligently.
Themes
Dibs says that the room makes him feel happy, but he is sad when he leaves. Axline asks if Dibs takes any happiness with him, but he ignores her. Instead, Dibs buries soldiers in the sandbox. Axline then tells Dibs that he has five more minutes in the playroom. Dibs digs out a soldier he buried and calls it “Papa.” He stands the figure on the floor, knocks it over with his fist, and stands it up again, repeating this cycle many times.
Because of Axline’s non-judgmental reactions, Dibs is starting to express openly his feelings of hostility toward his father. Dibs doesn’t worry about being punished for these feelings, and as such he is able to start to express himself and work through his complicated emotions.
Themes
When Dibs has two minutes left, he notes that the next day is Washington’s birthday, and he happily says he’ll go back to school on Monday. Axline notes how much school means to Dibs, and she thinks that the teachers should be pleased with how much Dibs has learned and how integral it is to his life. Axline also thinks that Dibs is very intelligent, but she doesn’t comment on this because his intellect isn’t the only thing that’s important to his development.
While Axline continues to discover how smart Dibs is, she still emphasizes that her main focus is his emotional capacity. Without the ability to express his feelings and relate to others, his intelligence will never be able to blossom. Besides, Axline gets the sense that Dibs feels pressure to be smart and feels judged for his intelligence (or perceived lack of it), which is part of why he has shut down so much emotionally. Because of this, she thinks that not calling attention to intelligence at all—whether that is through compliments, criticism, or neutral commentary—might give him the space to develop his social and emotional skills without feeling threatened.
Themes
When the time is up, Dibs says that his father is picking him up today. Axline walks into the reception and greets Dibs’s father, who looks uneasy. Dibs starts to talk about Independence Day again, but this embarrasses his father, who thinks Dibs is being weird. He pulls Dibs away and tells him to stop talking so senselessly. When Dibs and his father are gone, the receptionist comments to Axline about how unpleasant Dibs’s father is.
This exchange provides some insight into Dibs’s home life. His father clearly has specific, narrow expectations about how Dibs should act and speak—a stark contrast to Axline, who has gone to great pains not to encourage or discourage any of Dibs’s behavior, helping him gain confidence in his own choices and interests. Dibs’s father is also clearly judging his son and making him feel inadequate or weird, and he’s not even trying to understand what Dibs is saying. No wonder Dibs has so little confidence in himself!
Themes
Axline then returns to the playroom to clean up, and one of the observers tells her what Dibs said when she left the room to sharpen her pencil. Axline notes how perceptive Dibs’s description of the soldier was: “like an old iron railing from a fence.” Axline thinks about how Dibs’s father was not listening to Dibs, and how much strength and personality Dibs has in spite of this emotional deprivation. She reminds herself that parents, too, have reasons for the way they treat others.
Axline acknowledges how Dibs’s play sessions are allowing him to work through his emotions about his family members. She also recognizes that, just like Dibs, she must have empathy for his parents, even when their actions are incomprehensible or despicable to her. If they feel threatened by her judgement, they, too, will resist Dibs’s therapy.
Themes
