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Chapter 5
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Dibs in Search of Self, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Therapy, Empathy, and Non-Judgment
Parental Expectations vs. Self-Determination
Trust and Security
Intelligence vs. Emotional and Social Skills
Summary
Analysis
The next Thursday, at Dibs’s third session, he notes that Axline replaced the paint lids. He then picks up the nursing bottle and starts to suck on it. Soon after, he tells himself to take off his hat and coat and does so without assistance, returning to the nursing bottle afterward. Axline asks if Dibs likes the bottle, and Dibs replies that he does. Dibs sucks on the bottle for a long time and watches Axline as he does so.
Dibs’s use of the nursing bottle is in some ways a test for Axline, as he watches Axline for her reaction to what he’s doing. He wants to be able to retreat to infantile behaviors without judgment, and Axline grants him that self-determination and expression.
Themes
Next, Dibs reads the label on a box of counting blocks. Axline notes that Dibs often displays his intelligence as a coping mechanism for emotional distress. Axline also sees that there may be some conflict between expectations of Dibs’s behavior and what he wants to be or do. Sometimes Dibs is very capable and sometimes he simply wants to be a baby. Axline wonders if Dibs feels his intellectual abilities are the only parts of him that others value, and she wonders whether he wishes to be loved and respected for all his qualities. Axline is amazed that Dibs has concealed so much of his intelligence.
Here Axline foreshadows a central tension in Dibs’s life: while he has intellectual capacity, he often feels trapped by his parents’ expectation that he will be very intelligent, so he is rarely allowed the chance to simply be a child. This ties back to the incident in school when a teacher asked him what he was reading and he threw the book away. Even though he was capable of telling the teacher about it, he felt the pressure of constant evaluation and this made him conceal his intelligence.
Themes
Axline wishes she had more information about Dibs’s family life, noting that there are probably many complicated reasons that his relationship with his parents is so deficient. Dibs continues to suck on the nursing bottle until he says, “Take off my rubbers.” Axline realizes that he means her own shoes and she takes off her boots. Then Dibs takes the top off of the bottle and empties the water into the playroom sink.
As Dibs continues to retreat into his babyish behavior, he also loses some of the progress in his speech. Instead of using first-person pronouns (“I” or “my”) to refer to himself, as he started to do in a previous session, he reverts to referring to Axline with a first person pronoun (“my”) and himself with the second person “you.” Even with his significant intelligence, he still has a difficult time relating to others.
Themes
Suddenly, Dibs stops and says, “I am thinking.” Axline does not press him for his thoughts. She wants him to learn that he is a person with many parts: ups and downs, fears, courage, infantile desires and mature interests. She wants him to learn that he can take the initiative in relationships with people.
Rather than evaluate Dibs or judge him for his thoughts, Axline’s goal is simply to allow him to express himself—even internally. Her aim is not to force anything about their interactions but to give him freedom and confidence in their relationship.
Themes
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After Dibs finishes thinking, he says he will finger paint, play in the sand, and have a tea party. Axline guesses that he is planning what he wants to do for the rest of the hour. Dibs says that Axline is right. Dibs smiles and laughs—the first laugh Axline has heard from him. As Dibs fills the nursing bottle with water again, he says that he wants to take his snow pants off. Axline says Dibs can take his snow pants off if he wants to, but if he doesn’t want to, that’s okay too, because it’s cold inside. Dibs sighs with frustration that he is told to take off his boots inside, but that he can leave his snow pants on because it is cold. Axline affirms that rules can be confusing.
Here Axline observes the deep impact that her recognition has on Dibs. In offering empathy and understanding, Axline is enabling Dibs to recover some joy in his life. Additionally, Dibs is more openly expressing his frustration with some of the parameters in his life. Because the rules about taking off snow boots and pants are inconsistent, Dibs feels apprehensive about what to do and when. This proves Axline’s assertion in the previous chapter that children gain security from consistent and predictable rules.
Themes
For Dibs’s next activity, he starts to play with a farmhouse in the sandbox. He asks Axline for her help, but then he sets up the farmhouse without assistance. Dibs talks freely about animals as he plays with the animal figurines. As he plays, Axline warns Dibs that he only has five more minutes. Dibs then buries three figures and a toy truck under the sand, creating a mound on top of them. After this, he takes a duck figurine and places it on the hill, asking Axline not to move the sand or the duck. Dibs then tells Axline to write down that he found the sand interesting and that he played with the house and the fighting men. Finally, Dibs picks up his coat and hat and walks out of the playroom, leaving with his mother without a word.
Dibs continues to make leaps and bounds in his confidence. The fact that he asks for help even when he doesn’t need it is notable. It implies that Dibs trusts Axline—Dibs knows that she will help him if he needs or wants her assistance. Just knowing that Axline can provide Dibs with help, and will do so in a non-judgmental way, then paradoxically gives Dibs the security he needs to be able to do things on his own. Not only does Dibs set up the farmhouse, but he also leaves completely by himself and without prompting, again reinforcing how Axline’s parameters provide Dibs with security even if he doesn’t necessarily like going home.
Themes
After Dibs leaves, Axline goes into her office, amazed at Dibs’s development and the new freedom he is clearly feeling. She doesn’t want to analyze too quickly the symbolism of his play. The primary benefit of this kind of therapy is learning two things: that he knows his inner world better than anyone else does, and that responsible freedom develops from within himself. Dibs has to learn self-respect and dignity before he can respect others.
Axline prioritizes Dibs’s self-determination because she knows that doing so will provide him with confidence. And by discovering freedom and security in a non-judgmental environment, Dibs can then maintain dignity outside of the therapeutic environment and in his world at large.
Themes
