How to Win Friends and Influence People

by

Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence People: Part 4, Chapter 6 Summary & Analysis

Summary
Analysis
Pete Barlow had a dog and pony act and spent his life traveling with circuses and vaudeville shows. Whenever Pete trained a new dog, he praised the dog for the slightest improvement. Carnegie posits that we should use the same technique for people, as it inspires them to keep improving. People can often identify moments when words of praise changed their entire life.
Again, Carnegie uses dogs to illustrate how we can use the same techniques with people. This time, he illustrates that just like dogs, people need love and support—particularly when they are learning to do something. This underscores the need for positivity.
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Many years earlier, one young boy longed to be a singer. His first teacher discouraged him, but his mom praised him and told him she could already see improvement. That encouragement changed his life—his name was Enrico Caruso, and he became the greatest and most famous opera singer of his time.
In this example involving Caruso, Carnegie shows how little encouragements can spur people to success, even if they may not be the most innately talented. Thus, it is always better to be positive and show encouragement, because one never knows how one could transform someone else’s life.
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The same is true of Charles Dickens: he grew up very poor, only attended school for four years, and had many editors reject his early stories. But when one editor praised him, he was thrilled, and this praise changed his whole life, taking him out of a harsh factory and ultimately propelling him to literary fame. H. G. Wells has a similar story, as he was very unhappy working as a clerk. But when a former teacher told him that he was suited for better things and offered him a job as a teacher, this spark ultimately led him to his literary career.
Carnegie once again emphasizes the benefits of praising people. Positivity is not simply for one’s own edification, but because one can transform someone’s life and—in these examples—make the world culturally richer for doing so. Only the power of encouragement stood between Dickens, Wells, and their literary careers.
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Psychologist B. F. Skinner has shown that praise always works better than criticism. John Ringelspaugh found this with his children—when he yelled at them for their faults, they never improved. But when they managed to find things to praise, they would always improve. Then, some of their other faults began to disappear, and they went out of their way to do things right to gain that praise.
Here, Carnegie again cites psychologist B. F. Skinner’s studies illustrating that positive reinforcement works better than punishment—and Ringelspaugh found that this is true with his children as well. Praise also made them feel important and made them want to gain further praise, showing how earning encouragement can become a positive cycle.
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This works on the job as well, like when Keith Roper applied this to his print shop. A new worker was struggling to adjust to the job, and Mr. Roper spoke with the young man and told him how great the man’s work was—pointing out the specific things that made it good—as well as how important the young man was to the company. As a result, the man became a dedicated worker. Mr. Roper didn’t use flattery—he was sincere. Carnegie repeats that the principles in the book only work when they are heartfelt.
In this example, Carnegie reiterates that appreciation must come from a place of sincerity—otherwise, praise comes off as mere flattery. Because Mr. Roper pointed out specific things, the encouragement felt genuine. As a result, the young man changed his attitude and became a better worker for it, which benefitted Mr. Roper as well. This again suggests that praise can benefit both the receiver and the giver.
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Sincerity and Appreciation vs. Insincerity and Flattery Theme Icon
Quotes
All people have far more power than they realize: they have the power to inspire others, particularly through praising them. Abilities can literally blossom under encouragement. So, it is important to praise even the slightest improvement, because that can spur even greater growth.
Here, Carnegie reaffirms that positive encouragement can transform people for the better, suggesting that praise is a kind of superpower that people should use frequently because it can make the world a better place overall.
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